not be Love by you

have I been reliable to you?

or have I aggravated your pride,

and your prejudice,

have I been brisk enough to catch you?

or have I already lose you in this zesty world.

what is not to love you say,

I say there are many a reason to act…

…in the spirit of hate and despise.

 

what is to love I might ask in return,

what is there to which is obvious in love?

what clarity is present to define its space?

to which notion does it even exist?

I have given, in my utmost ability, to provide,

to despise thoughts of receiving,

to make obvious to you of everything,

that once was, to me, unclear and hazy.

 

what is in me that needs your blessing?

I wonder and wander as I ponder farther,

what is it I possess that needs your caress?

I look up in a dictionary of life and love,

instead of finding truth,

I found you and beaches to surf,

what is there left of us?

what are us?

 

I dream the longest dream; when,

I sleep the shortest sleep…

…unrest, I am unconsciously numb,

though comfortable,

I wake up to the longest days of loneliness,

and stay awake to the darkest nights…

…nights of Armageddon,

though I have thoughts surrounding your front gates,

revolving your fences, bounding your chimneys,

I cannot, I refuse to believe that everything,

like you said…

…was born to love,

I want to argue and disagree and claim for reasons,

I want to believe that in me,

I own every reason to not be love,

not be love by you.