A loss at Stake.

 

A loss at Stake.              * * *   

        Digging in his heals,
        & drifting along.
        Living day by day,
        singing only his song.

                Head in the clouds,
            living in a daze.
            Detached, focused,
            living only his way.

                  A lack of conscience,
                  an excess of strength.
                  Ignoring the others,
                  to finish his length.

                          Determined Awake,
                          with a loss at stake
                          Climbing the mountain, 
                          climbing it away.

Reviews

[Last Lying Look]

I agree with Bridgey Crewe there.
"A lack of conscience,
an excess of strength."
I've heard that is does give you an advantage.
It kinda reminds me of "It's once you have lost everything that you are free to do anything." [Chuck Palahniuk]
... Well maybe that's a bit of a stretch... but to me it connected.
Great write.
Has a nice little tune to it.
-Elissa :)

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

"A lack of conscience,
an excess of strength."
This line interests me because I've always believed that those who have a lack of conscience and self-awareness, have an advantage because of a "nothing to lose" sort of mentality. I hope I'm not misinterpreting
what you meant, but that's what this subject makes me think of. Good pen!

[Samantha.]

wow. this was awesome i really saw the way this character just walked along with his head in space just in a daze i loved it

[sara]

wow. I mean really, wow.
I love how the seemingly contradicting phrases arent really contradicting at all. I also love the character, I mean you portrayed everyone in this world but at the same time its not anyone in particular (does that make sence?)...The first two phrases "Digging in his heals,
& drifting along." are my favorite is this poem because it has a sort of muted, repressed feeling about it thats just so poignant and touching and it just completely catches your attention. Beutifully done.