My Gothic Hero

In the dark of the night,

Treading the labyrinthine path,

When you come all the way to my house,

On the corner of the dark alley.

My heart skips a beat.

The night is tight-lipped,

The breeze is noiseless.

There is something sinister about the 

Nefarious activities of those villainous bats.

Amidst such a pernicious atmosphere,

Your malevolent eyes are scrutinizing my physicality.

Your prolonged fingers painting a canvas of dark art

Has already made captive my supple hand.

There they are,

Your rancorous whispers,

Exciting every part of my numb body

To elope with you in this tenebrosity.

You are a fiend to my family

Who has kept me away from you

Yet,I am drawn to you,repeatedly

Because you are my dark hero.

Your conspiracies and wrongdoings

Will only draw me closer to your wicked,black heart.

I am the only soul that knows,

 Something good also resides somewhere

In that wretched,devilish heart.

Reviews

[ron]

Very nice ;)
Sensually seductive. ;))

[fattycbreezy52]

Thank you so much:)

[ron]

You are most welcome :)

[ANTO]

This is a brilliantly seductive dark piece FcB. So Victorian in feel - one can imagine Jack the Ripper doing his deeds just round a foggy London corner.

'friend of the family' becomes 'fiend to the family' - class wordsmithing my friend.

note: towards the end to avoid 'heart' and then three lines later 'heart' again perhaps you could write '...to your wicked Black art(s)' leaving the ending word 'heart' to be fresh, without losing any meaning.

well penned my friend. :))

[fattycbreezy52]

Wowww. ..I love the Victorian interpretation .And yes, such lovely suggestions. Ikr.I didn't take a look while mentioning heart twice. It mars the effect. But thanks for pointing it out. I love that dearest Anto:)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Another powerful and beautifully described piece where you paint such a vivid Gothic picture and combine it with the love story and how some women are drawn to the dark side of a man. Perhaps with a hope of reforming them. One small observation. You use 'heart' twice in the last four lines. Maybe replace the final one with 'soul'?

[fattycbreezy52]

Yes, the darker side of a man is perhaps the most alluring. And yes, such a good suggestion.Soul sounds perfect! :)Thanks for an equally amazing review

[wordman]

a great story,i enjoyed it

[fattycbreezy52]

Thanks a lot:)

[wordman]

you are welcome

[Misery]

Does every good woman love a bad man, even if for only a season?
A delightfully 'pernicious' creation. dear Fatty.

[fattycbreezy52]

Yes, may be! I once loved a bad man, too.
Though I highly doubt about myself being a good woman:D

[The Josh of Oki]

Nice~~the rhythm of the poem almost made me felt like I was waltzing along with the two lovers:) And pernicious is definitely a word I have to add to my vocabulary haha

[fattycbreezy52]

Yes,you should.I am glad I gave you that feeling of waltz;)Thanks for the review:)

[Misery]

I suspect you are quite a good woman when you venture beyond the boundaries of your poetry.