Helpless

They say, second chances always work. They say it can help both of you fix the common thing that you both argue in the past.

In my own experience, I’m not satisfied on the outcome. Have I been broken? Yes. So bad that I can’t come to think that I can’t forgive myself if I ever forgive and bring him back in my life. Again.

I’ll tell you my story. Promise not to criticize me. I have enough people talking behind my back, criticizing me, scolding me with such words. I admit I’m not the strong woman I promised myself to be after all the heartbreak caused only by one single person.

We’ve been together for too long. We watch each other grow into our very own self. We both faced the mature world both in our hands. But not all long relationships are happy and contented. They think that just because you have a relationship that’s too long means you have it all figured it out. No. several breakups, heartbreaks, words that got out of our mouths that we know can hurt each other. I am not the same person anymore. I feel shattered. And now I’m lost.

I don’t know if how many times did we got back together. But who cares right? I’m so in love that I got blinded with the fact that I look stupid in always forgiving him. Always giving him a way back in my life. When in fact I have all the million reasons not to. I don’t know anymore. I don’t know if this feels right. I just don’t know.

I’d really like to ask for help but I’m too afraid for other people’s opinion telling me things that can hurt me. Now here I am, facing it all by myself. Not even him can help me. Helpless. Lonely. Sober. 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I believe second chances never work. My mother's life and my life. Second chances are painful. I agree with your thoughts and your ending is usually the final place we would share with another. Thank you Fatima for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[K]

Recently, I've come to learn that giving second chances to other people won't change them. I was also blinded, and forgave countless of times no matter how stupid I appeared to others. This really spoke to me. Good Job on this piece!

[Laura Lynn]

I feel like this too. I wish I had a chance at love again. I have a son and can't easily meet another man. Sometimes I want to give up, run away, or throw in the towel.