Must I ask you when I take a breath?

This is a poem that is... no officially in my perspective... I wrote it on a sad day, to a sad song and I thought it was a tiny little cupcake of how depressed my generation is today. Enjoy.

I feel so old. Like I’m surrounded by young people. I’m only 16. The desire to know anymore than I do already is not there... Tragedy has struck over and over again. And wiser than an owl is what I am. A magnet pulls me towards older people. The only difference between me and them is that they’ve got a couple years on me. My age is always the last thing I tell... I wish it didn’t matter.

 I wish this time felt more special. Because when I do get to the age I want to be, I’m gonna wish I had this moment back.

I’m going to wish I wasn’t so stupid. I’m gonna wish that I focused on school harder than getting that text back in less than 20 minutes.

The soundtrack to my life is endlessly dramatic and sad.  A piano plays as my tears travel to the ground. A voice is droning on as I look in the mirror. Lyrics rhyme on as I stare with hatred at myself.

Every word out of my mouth is going to be judge like it’s not my own. Every decision doesn’t end positively. Everyone is looking at what I wear. Everything is not mine.

I might as well stop doing things... or perhaps starts saying “is that alright with you guys?” after making a move, saying a word, loving a person. 

Reviews

[Trase]

I enjoy prose poetry. You did a nice job here. One suggestion though, what if you switched "the" with "that"? For example, "Because when I do get to [that] age . . ." It makes the sentence more powerful and specific.

[s.r.knight]

You've written this in more of a story format than the typical poem format. But I like it, it's very refreshing and original. And originality is very important, especially for a writer! I like how you described your life logically, your age, your connection to others, music, personality. This is teeming with emotions, the idea of having to ask permission to do something as natural as breathing. Very well done! Keep it up!