...his hat was throw'd back and his spurs was a-jinglin'...

I transcribed a little recording my dad did once, thought I should share it here.

In the picture, that's dad.
That's dad's horse.
That's dad on his horse team roping at his arena he built.

I never really asked why he built it, but he did. Just struck him one day and then it was there. So there were people swinging by his arena to come rope with him. Yep, my dad's a cowboy. A real cowboy. Been cowboying since he was old enough to ride a horse really.

Now being his son, I've been pulled into a part of it, but I wouldn't say I'm a cowboy. I'm pretty far from it, I do know how to swing a rope. I spent years and years building up a hatred of cows and their ceaseless  stupidity. I mean, 30 below and out there feeding them. Having one come right up to the house and tangle his foot around a hose. Then when he's trying to get it off, I'm standing at the living room window watching as it kicked out a basement window. Nonchalantly walking away chewing some grass while I curse it to hell for being a moron which jumped the fence around the house.

It dawned on me why my dad cursed every other word when working with the animals. It's not like he's angry when he's out there working with the horses and cows. You can tell he's happy, but every other word out of his mouth is a swear word when it comes to those... those... animals.

When it comes time for the Williams Lake Stampede, he's on his way there again. Wearing his cowboy hat and boots. Back in the day, he used to always wear his cowboy hats. That's the kind of place and time I grew up. It was common place when I was a teenager to see people doing day to day business with cowboys hats. You still see it now and then, but it's dying out slowly.

A while back my sister got this little recorder for some reason and decided to test it out. She asked dad to tell a couple stories of when he used to cowboy (yep, cowboy is a verb around here) down the Alkali Lake Ranch. So he reached back and started to tell a few. I wound up typing it all out and I have the mp3 of the entire thing. Now and then I listen to it for a good laugh. Even though I did hear these stories a few times before, still it's the kind of humour that makes me laugh.

Now there's something you got to understand, I don't want to clean this up too much because it would lose the feel. When I'm talking to dad about stuff, hockey or cattle or whatever comes up, I kind of sound like this too.

AC: In the springtime, we were rounding up cows (repeat) and we had to move them down to Bowe's along the (Fraser) river bank. And am what was happening (pause) we all had a little herd each and we were gonna put them to start up the road going up to Bowe's. And Victor's cows,... Victor's little herd started to run over the hill. And we seen Victor push his horse and went running up the hill... both of us me and Gordon looked at each other. We know what was over that hill cause every hill was like that. Victor disappeared... the cows come back and Victor never come back. So we run them cows back and forth and we hold them there and they started down and kept starting to get away.

AC: We kept looking back where Victor was... he never came back... so finally them cows started following each other back towards the river where the grass was showing out. Then when all them cows started going down decided, well... let's go look for Victor. We went over the hill and Victor's laying on the ground with his horse laying in deep snow holding his right hand rein real tight with both hands and his horse was laying on his other leg... and his right foot was laying on the saddle ready to look out just in case something happens. But he was holding that horse's head twisted right around so he wouldn't get up... and us (snickers) we went there and look at him and we started to laugh. We started hollering at him to let him go.

AC: He says "Noh, I think I broke my leg under here." (Snicker) Ahhh... let him go and I went to the other side. I got off and went around I grabbed the other rein and told him let him go. Hang on the horn and let him go. He hang on the horn, let him go and that horse stand up and we found out that his leg wasn't broke but his stirrup was twisted right around and it was poking him in the shin right there (points to shin)... Horse stand up and I tell him, "Well how's your leg?" He says.... takes it out of the stirrup and moves it around. And we both start to laugh. How long you lay there anyway? Must be fifteen / twenty minutes he layed there. His whole side was wet, half ways all the way down... snow in his chaps (laughs) rubbers was full of snow. By that time it was warming up and we were wearing, not rubbers, gumboots.

AC: It was big enough to put on two socks, we'd put on gumboots go cowboying (laughs) And Victor found out he wasn't hurt. We both start laugh and start riding home. He wouldn't talk to us and we start coming home. All the way home me and Gordon look at east other turn around and laugh. Victor's coming behind and all wet yet. Finally we made a fire and let him dry off. He says... after he dries off a little bit he says... this story is gonna be all over the ranch tomorrow right? (laughs) Gordon says, "I don't think it not worth telling I seen funnier ones. " (laughs)
It was the same year where we s'posed to round up all the horses up by Big Swamp. Change horses... bring horses from Little Swamp to Big Swamp and we know there's drifts and we know there's dangerous spots. And us... we're all galloping through the open about 40 head of horses in front us and I was galloping on the side. I was in more danger galloping on the side

AC: than them guys galloping behind the horses. And I knew what was gonna happen pretty soon so my feet wasn't right in the stirrups. So I was galloping and all of a sudden I seen this drift and I was going too fast. There's no way I was gonna pull a horse really hard in that kind of stuff cause there's just a little bit of snow and it was slick ice underneath. If I pull my horse, I'd probably fall and slide so I just let keep running full speed until I hit that drift. And all the snow, I went underneath the crust and snow must been 2 or 3 inches think. I hit that crust and went right underneath the snow. I found the ground and make it to stand up. Gordon and them said that snow that was on top of me look like a volcano when I stick out from under the snow.

AC: (laughs) My horse was trying to get up and I must've flew about 30 - 40 feet through the air and flew underneath that snow. And my horse was still trying to get up when I stand up. I never did find my cap. (laughter) My cap was in that snow somewhere. We dig and dig and dig and we didn't want to lose the horses we went and dig through and I dig through there I couldn't find my cap. So I cut up my gunny sack and make ear muffs out of it. I come home dressed up like a punjabi. It was weird (pause) all kinds of stuff happen like that, that spring.

IC: What year was that?

AC:1962... probably cause I remember I know we just finish moving the cattle from Round Mountain to Bowe's. And we were coming home. It was right after New Year and we were coming home and I was telling Gordon

AC: "It's gonna snow, man! (we're) Doing this the wrong way." Rayboone was saying it was gonna snow... dunno why we doing this... it's gonna snow." Anyway we move 360 hear down to Bowe's and it started to snow when we was getting down to the ranch. Friday night. It snowed all day Saturday... all day Sunday... early about 6 o'clock Monday morning the snow quit. It was already 4 feet on the ground so we had to go back down and get all them cows back that we just drove the river. We went back down there. we had to take 2 horses each from the ranch. We're ride a horse 'til he lay down cause their feet blood (their feet) gets killed off so they lay down and then you take your saddle off that horse that's laying down and put on another one and then ride that one til that one lays down. Then you leading the one that laid down the first time.

We kept doing that.
AC: We had 2 horses each and there was 7, 5, 6, six of us. Bill never did break trail. He just come way behind. He only had one big horse, that we used to use. But when we got down to Bowe's all them cows all rounded up themselves. I guess they came to the gate ready to come home when it was getting too much snow. So when we open that gate them cows get on our track and we left the ranch at 7:30 in the morning we got to top of Moore Ranch to the gate up top there to Bowe's, it's probably 2 miles. It took us, top of hill to Bowe's, probably 2 to 2 and a half hours. That's only 2 miles and we was breaking trail in that snow. And when we got to that... where all the cows were we just open the gate and them cows just trot down the trail we just break.

AC: And the sun was just getting out of sight. That's when all them cows lined up passed Brown Mtn. passed to Moore Ranch where it comes over the hill. Them cows was lined up like this with the sun shining on their backs. It really look neat. I took pictures of that I had a camera that time. I took all kinda of pictures that day. Then I sent it in to get developed and I never did get it. And umm that's when by the time them cows go through our trail what we broke. By the time they all pass cause they were crowding each other. Out trail was probably about about 7 or 8 feet wide when we was coming home behind them cause they were crowding it and making it wider all the way through. Musta been we brought down 368 head to Bowe's... we brough up that day 320 some. So the next day we had to go back up and look for them other ones. On the next day was in by the time we hit the top it was 3 o'clock

AC: The wind blow, the North wind, 41 below 0, and we was riding across the top. A lot of the trail we broke the day before wasn't there. So we had to do it over one more time just for another 23 head of cows or something. We found them they were all under a big tree. (takes a deep breath) Brought them all down, then we found out there was cows down China Mtn. Guys were flying around looking for them. We had to go get them, they were 7 head and they were way down in a hole. We tie up our horse on top and we had to walk down there. Stupid cows, want to help them and they want to chase you around. So we were running around behind trees. They finally come up to where we were walking. Cows are... I find them really stupid. But that spring was something else, when you are riding on... on the sidehill. All the snow on top is soaking wet about 6 or 8 inches. That's all thawed out.

AC And all the snow underneath it's all still frozen. So it you riding on the sidehill, you gotta watch them little trees above you. If them little trees are moving, swaying side to side, that means that snow underneath is moving. So even it not very steep like this (makes hand gesture) even if it's only about 7 or 8 degree slope that snow'd slide. So it was dangerous. But it was a lot of fun cause lot of guys get catched. It usen't to slide that far just shift enough to push your horse out of sight and then you're get out of sight too. When I stood up and that crust in that Little Swamp and my horse turn over with me. Victor did the same thing but him he kicked the wrong way and his feet was the ones sticking out and he was trying to stand up looking for the ground. (Laughs) Finally, realized he was upside down, he stood up (repeat) and he really gasping for air.

AC: Blowing his nose. (Laughter) And we just stand there and really laugh and it was really funny. Look funny, little short legs kicking around (laughter) And we used to put a old blanket or something under our chaps to keep our legs warm cause them chaps didn't keep you warm. So we cut a blanket and put it under our chaps and then we'd put it on over our legs under chaps. And he had one like that all full of snow. We had a lot of fun like that. The last time... (pause)
The worst... ammm... you know top of Bowe's, top of that hill we were coming through there that same spring. We're coming up from China Mtn. we just finish moving cows from that way we're coming up and Ray, Rayboone kept saying "There's wash-outs around here. I know there's wash-outs around here." and he'd stop. And we all knew there was wash-outs and Gordon had a horse that was getting hot.

AC: And he (the horse) really wanted to go home. So Gordon says, all he said was, "s**t" and lets go his horse. His horse stepped in one of those holes his horse must've went down about half ways and he was hanging on the saddle horn and Cheyenne roll on his saddle... and horse was jumping, like he was trying to get out, then he (horse) was like he bucking and Gordon was just hanging on. Ole Jimmy was sitting on the other side, he was calfing heifers down there. Standing on the other side watching Gordon. Gordon lost his cap after he break all that really wet snow, he started to move. And he was gonna step down and get his cap. And his cap just got sucked under the snow. He was around with no hat for the rest of the day but it was warm. And Jimmy was sitting on his horse on top of the hill, watching all that not very far from here, probably about 100 feet away.

AC: Not very far away, watching all that stuff go on (Deep breath) and when they finish when Gordon come out of there Ole Jimmy was laughing so hard his feet just slide off his horse and he land on the ground. We all start laughing, both Gordon, Ole Jimmy, cause Ole Jimmy didn't realize he was falling off til he hit the ground. And his horse was standing there and looking at him. Look at him like if he (horse) could talk, he would say "You stupid bugger... what the hell are you doing?" (laughs) And Jimmy kept right on laughing at himself and Gordon. Me and Rayboone we wait for that snow to fall pass cause it was dammed like and Gordon break it in...it just come down we went three, sit there laughing finally just all passed. We went across and run into another one like that. And Rayboone turn around tell Gordon, "Okay Gordon, go ahead through there you got no cap already." And Gordon says "S**t" spur his horse

AC: And went through and it was only a foot deep. We followed Gordon (laughs) he really make us laugh all the time we had a lot of fun when we were cowboying down there.

New Story
AC: We  lost Kinski the fall before. We told Bill, Ray and them were up the hill behind Alkali on.... up toward 'Gela and and thems place. Onion Hill they called it. "Onion Hill's got some wild cattle up there you gotta go up there and get them." Bill tells me and Gordon. "You boys saddle up your best horses and go bring in them cows." We were saddling up and Kinski walks in. He says "Oh, I asked them guys if I can come with you guys, I'm going with you." I looked at Bill and told him Bill, "We don't want to take him. I don't want him. You sending us after some wild cattle up there on the other side of Joe's Lake and you want us to take him with us?

AC:  When we (with Gordon) took off we never gonna see him again." So (pause) anyways we went out and we seen them wild cows about 10o'clock. And we started to move I took my dog Belle and I know Belle would never leave them cows once he got them on the run. So Belle, I could hear Belle barking and I could hear them cows mooing and I just kept on their trail. And Gordon was coming and going on the side to keep them cows from going back to the mtn. I could hear him, I couldn't see him but I could hear him. And I knew he was really going through the bush. We seen Kinski start when we took off and that was the only time we seen him that day. And we got them cows down to Little Dog above the gate. By that time my dog had them all played out and so we just drive them down they slowed right down cause they were galloping since 10 o'click.

AC: Must've been about 3 o'clock when we got them down there cause they went back and forth on top for a long time if they went straight down, we wouldn't been down there in half an hour. We were galloping all over them hills. Kinski tried to track us until it started getting dark. And then cause we were galloping in circles sometimes back and forth so he got lost. I tell Gordon, "I told Bill I wasn't gonna wait for him." We both told him we weren't gonna wait for him. Anyway we went down Little Dog... you know where them little corrals are down there now. We put them cows in there. We put them in China Mtn. and then we were gonna come home along the road. We kept looking back expecting Kinski to catch up. We never seen him and it was really getting dark and it was cloudy in October already move the clock so.

AC: And in early Nov. So... we 5 o'clock it was really dark and we wondered about Kinski when we got home at 5:30. Bill says "Where's that guy?" I tell him we never seen him since this morning. Since we started them cows. He says "You got in the cows?" "Yeah we got them in." He says "Well, what horse is he riding?" We told him Dusty. Dusty was my horse I used to always use. He's gentle enough for that guy to ride so we let him use that one. We told him before we left if you get lost or get behind let go that horse and he'll take you home. But I didn't them that Dusty knew all them short cuts coming over the hill from like Echo Mtn. There's a trail coming straight down and there's some big trees along there so you to duck (snickering)

AC: And Dusty knew the other trail that came down behind the ranch. Dusty must've came along the edge with Kinski and he come down that trail above the ranch. And that trail, if you miss a step you gonna slide a long ways. Kinski says he prayed all the way down til he hit the bottom (laugh) But when he got home we finish eating supper Bill was telling me and Gordon "You guys stay here. I don't want you to move." Joes Lake Rd wasn't out yet. "We're gonna up past the Graveyard passed Alkali and drive up the mountain. I'm gonna throw my chains in right now. You guys stay here we're gonna go look for this guy." I start to laugh and tell Gordon, "S**t, guys gonna get home pretty soon." Kinski ain't that stuck, Dusty'll bring him home. We're just getting ready to leave, like gonna leave with Bill. And kinski walks in. As soon as I look at his face...

AC: I bust out laughing cause he had a scratch from his mouth all the way to his ear on one side. And his forehead was black and blue (laughing) He musta hit his head on some trees somewhere and he had his cap on real (snickers) on kinda backwards still covering his ears. (Still laughing) Aw s**t, I couldnt' stop laughing, I just grab my coat and run out of there cause he grabbed one of them pool cues you know what you play pool with. He grabbed on of them and started chasing me and I beat him to the barn door. I got the hell out and I could hear Gordon running out the other door. Bill was in there hollering "Take it easy on dem boys! Take it easy!" (laughing) Next day we walk in down there. Kinski was sitting there with a black eye, scratched from his mouth to his ear on one side, real red on his forehead(laugh) I sit across from him... we used to always eat together. Me and him, I sit across from him and

AC: I bust out laughing. He grab one of them eggs and was gonna hit me with it. I grab one in each hand and I look at him.
"You'd do two wouldn't you?"
"Yep... you first."
So we sit there and eat. Then we did that to him again.

New Story
We ended up branding cows that spring before, that was funny. Steve was working down there cowboying and I was working down Diamond Pasture by myself. I had a cabin up there I was staying up there and I was looking after some heifers up there. Bill come along and said we're branding tomorrow 300 head and we need some calf people, calf wrestlers so you better come over. I said OK, I'll be over there. Kinski just come from the Old Country. Germany, Martin's cousin or something.

AC: Anyways, we wrestle a few calves first, them bigger calves we brand'em, castrate 'em and then we had to milk some cows. Cause there udders was so big them calves couldn't suck. Like that picture we did to that cow out here. Chad milked. Bill rope the head and Steve come around single hocked one of them cows and we were stretching 'em out. Rayboone grab the tail and pull down that cow. (takes deep breath) and Kinski think he was smart watching us wrestle them calves half an hour before that and goes running in there and grabs the hind leg of that cow and he grabs the other foot and holds that cow like a little calf. Everybody looked at each other, all them cowboys that was there look at each other. Chris English yells cut the ropes. Cut the ropes means let 'em go. (laughter) Steve just kick off his dally and let that cow go.

AC: Kinski just sitting there and get kicked about three times in his face just falls back and gets knocked out. (laughs)Bill was still holding that cow he's really just sitting there. Just sitting on his horse still dallied up hollering at Stave "dally up... dally up... you gonna kill that guy!” (laughter) he was already knocked out and laying in cow s**t. Them guys just pull him out and drag him over to the fence. Martin was trying to make him (Kinski) come to. He come to and look around and everybody was laughing. Guys couldn't even climb the fence they was laughing so much. Cow was damninear knocking every over around there hanging on the fence. Just climb a little ways hanging on and laugh. Get real weak and couldn't climb. Anyway Kinski again was giving us a show. All the three years he spent there, I think I ended up with him the most.

AC: I ended up calving heifers with him down Moore Ranch. We just finish calfing a heifer on that big side hill where Gordon was damninear getting drowned. We finish calving a heifer there and there's nothing around there but those low bush Juniper. Juniper bushes, low juniper bushes nothing around that hill, no trees, nothing. Finish pulling that calf, pull my chain, take it off. I know that heifer was tired. I know that heifer was wild. Took off my rope. I sneak and I go get on my horse. Then told Kinski get out of here. "Get out of there." He says "Noh" I ride a little ways and I hear him hollering. He grabs that calf from the back of the cow and drags it to the front. And he lets the cow smell him. And that cow right now got up and start chasing him. I was about 100ft away in the opposite direction and he was running down the hill that heifer right behind him. (Laugh)

AC: He turn and that heifer would stop. That heifer would stop when Kinski turn. So... that heifer would turn wanting to go away and Kinski in his stupidity was trying to scare 'em away. And would wave around his arms (laughter) That heifer would chase him down the hill some more (laugh) another 50ft or something. Turn behind a juniper bush and every step he made running down that hill he was swearing at me. And I'm just standing up top of the hill still laughing. And waiting for that heifer to run him over. And I wouldn't help him. So the 3rd time he turn, that heifer kept going and that heifer turn facing up hill this time. He just gonna go again that heifer and I start yelling at Kinski "If you just stand there and quit getting stupid trying to scare 'em away, he'll go away by himself!" Looked at me and that heifer was snorting away only from here to the TV probably about 20 feet away from him.

AC: Heifer was starting to do like a bull, throw dirt. I tell Kinski throw dirt at 'em. (laughing) I never though anybody was that stupid (laugh) he's stupid, picks up a small rock and throws it at 'em. (laughing) As soon as he moves that heifer made a circle and he run down the hill again. This time he went behind a juniper bush and he laid down. And I'm laughing my head off standing up top of the hill. That time I was about 100 yds away that was how far he went down the hill. And his horse is way up the hill. I ride over his horse, I catch 'em and I just stand der. Could hear him hollering from behind the juniper bush.
"Bring my horse!"
I just stand there and that heifer went. Start going, finally I bring his horse down to him. He pick up a rock and he was gonna throw it at me.

AC: I lead his horse and I started going towards the ranch (laugh) "I wouldn't hit you!" (repeat) I really let his horse go and I kept riding and his horse was following me. I could hear him running behind me finally I stop and I wait for him.
I tell him, "I know stupid people but you take the cake on that one. You're dumb, you're real stupid."
All the way home he swear at me, every time I looked at him he'd swear at me. He swear at me all the way home I'd look at him and laugh.
"Well, that heifer gonna come back and get his calf tonight?"
"Yeah he will."
"You don't have to do what you did, you know damn well that heifer was wild."

AC: Before we rope 'em, we couldn't get close to him.
Anyway, it was really funny.
THE END

I'm not even sure this blog can handle this much text. Anyway, this is the kind of stories dad is full of. These are only a few of his cowboying stories, when we were logging he told me a whole bunch more of back in his logging days. Sometimes when we're watching hockey, he'll tell some good hockey stories too.

Really, I think I'm going to get a bunch and put them in a book or something. Here's a little one of logging that I'm part of. One day me and dad was walking back to the landing after work. Our chainsaws over our shoulders and carrying our gas cans, we come up to this tree he kept looking at. Dad stops and puts down his gas can and looks at it, top to bottom, then looks towards the landing. There was a small stump about 40 feet away and he tells me, "Bet you I can hit that stump with this tree." Cocky as I was, I laughed at him and say, "Okay, 10 bucks you miss it." The stump is a little one, about a foot wide. He fires up his saw and the tree starts falling and I smile when I see it falling sideways a little bit. It's going to miss and I'm up 10 bucks, it swings back and breaks right on top of the stump. I'm looking up at the sky laughing, dad tells me to limb it. So, we get to town and hit the bank. I'm cashing my cheque and he's standing behind me holding out his hand with a big grin on his face.

 

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is simply fabulous! I loved the entirety! You should definitely write all this into a book...it would and does make fascinating reading.

[Norma M Sutton]

Your sis has the right idea. Save them while he's there to tell them to you. I wasn't able to do that. And yeah. A book from them would be well worth reading and doing.