No idea, doesn't make sense

i have no idea what i was thinking, most probably confused at the time

What would you do when everything you believe in fades away, what would you do if everyone you once loved leaves you alone to die, i wouldn't know because i haven't died yet, the tears swell up in my eyes, i'm lost and lonely awaiting to die, the times i've tried but yet failed, maybe i'm supose to be here to survive, i would like to take a dive into the future and see what it beholds, but i'm scared to swallow the end of what it shows, i'm frightened the world shall change and die, but most of all i'm here to die, i don't see much init, besides helping others but then again i forgot i matter more than others, so here i sit to dwell and suffer, i warn others of the pain that you can suffer, to help them from reaching that point and long time dwelling of others.