Is love still alive?

The heart captured silence when it was with you and now there are lots of cracks that I can't sew

You slapped me and tore me apart
I was outrageous but couldn't hear the pounding of your heart
When blood poured out and you needed help badly
I controlled myself and just looked at it sadly
I tumbled and was almost falling on the sand
But I held a tree branch instead of grabbing your hand
When the air grew colder, I refused to take your coat
I would never call for help even if I was in a wrecked boat
When it was 2am and I was walking home
But I refused to go with you even when I see the kidnappers roam

I bit my tongue when I see you cry
I am trying to solve our puzzle but I just can't try
Because I remember you say "No one can take you away from me.'
But then you left me saying now you're free
You said I was wrong, when I used to be myself
You moved away, when you knew your presence might help

Didn't you see me crying at the stairs of your house
You took a bird's eye view and sneaked out, like a mouse
The sky crashed on me when you said you moved on
I waited for the sun but the sky was sunless even at dawn

Author's Note

These thoughts just haunted my mind and compelled me to write. Please give me reviews if you like it or grudge it.. thank u

Reviews

[Faith Almazan]

I love how intense this poem is. It reminds me of my childhood and the parent who is in denial about it. Thank you for sharing this with the world!

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

Thank you so much :)

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethi..]

Is Love still alive??? I guess you writing this song gives the answer to the question:)

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

thank you......

[Abhishekizy]

Does it represent your real feelings?? The way thoughts move from 'him' to you, along with the blames makes it quite a real feeling!! Keep it up

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

ya.. thank you so much!

[Sindu]

Filled with imagery full of emotions. You show the pain and sorrow very well through these words.

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

thank you so much1

[Pushkar Prabhat]

it is sad how we often realize the value of a person only after he/she is gone.....
very well described......
nice work!!!
i liked it!!
:)

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

thank you so much!

[Eleanor]

Sad but great imagery :) I loved your use of metaphors.
I noticed that your writing is based on expressing pain about love and heartbreak. Though you can try to write something different? Like you said you accept correction. Try to shape every piece different than other, or else it gets boring.
Great try :)

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

thank you so much. I will work on it

[DACAC]

I tumbled and was almost falling on the sand
But I held a tree branch instead of grabbing your hand
When the air grew colder, I refused to take your coat
I would never call for help even if I was in a wrecked boat

I love this part of your poem. It really shows the mistrust in the relationship. Great job!

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

thank you so much :)

[Maglia Weaver Twill]

It's so much work for you here, I hope you find it enjoyable. Do you sew much?! You must be very tied up or busy with so many lists, life is overwhelming so many time I find, so often. I hardly know where to spend my time or what to focus on or what to do in some hazy point in time. I think I will do one thing but I wait around for others too. I don't know what to do. I wonder how long I will keep up this habits, and how far they can take a person for good. Everybody read and everybody write, but not everybody read or write the same thing it is 'mind-boggling'...I don't like that word 'mind-boggling' though, I'm would have been looking for a different word perhaps, unless there is a pre-destination which must be the same thing as destination really in point of fact, we don't always know where our destination will be, especially when someone else is making decisions, it does happen

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

thank you so much!

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

The last stanza is very strong. Beautiful metaphor and imagery. Well done. :)
Rudi

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

thank you so much

[hardeep sabharwal]

A sad and well written story, nicely told

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

thank you so much!