perfect u

falling in love took me to a different world and i am trying to know more about the taste of the apple i have just bitten

All my confusions cleared when you went far
Now I'm prepared to break any obstacle or bar
You laughed when I fell and taught me to stand
when i was in trouble you gave me a hand

When i craved to fly you showed me the floor
You kissed my eyes even when it was sore
You took me in your lap when i needed a hug
You brought a bucket when i needed a mug
Love can change its form to hate
We don't know what will be brought by the fate
But i know you will care for me even when I'm sick
I know you imagine my face when you see a hot chick

You slapped my hard, to show me what was right
And then you rubbed my tears even when it was dried
You broke me into pieces and only sadness i could find
but don't cut yourself while attaching my broken pieces of mind

Your smile makes my pain less
You came like an angel and freed me from this mess
By your fragrance, i know you are near
And suddenly i get rid of all my fear
So many problems can be solved by a kiss
I bit my lips and dug my nails because its you whom i miss

 

Author's Note

its my first poem and i am new...i appreciate all your kind comments and criticism..hope i receive encouragements and advises.. thank u

Reviews

[Sanjh]

Nice piece of writing. There's some humour involved too and that's good. The feeling of love is expressed nicely. Considering it your first one, it's great. The corrections are mentioned in other reviews.
Thank you for sharing...:)

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

thank you so much

[Eleanor]

I really liked this :). The honesty and and rhyming in each verse is great. You exprssed it so smoothly.
Though a few corrections can be there :)-
"You kissed my eyes even when *they were sore" You are talking about eyes so its supposed to be plural.

"
You slapped *me hard, to show me what was right"
"And then you rubbed my tears even when *they were dried"

Don't get discouraged. Overall this is a great try and poem :)

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

thanks for your suggestions. It really helps a lot.

[Nitesh Mahabal]

Honest Feelings Written In Rhymes.... nice work

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

thank you so much

[Someone Strange]

Nice poem, great feelings!
hope it lasts and never end, good luck!

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

thank u so much :)

[Tasfia Islam]

dostooooo......its awesome.......mind blowing.....superbbbb

[Fariha Tahseen Karim]

thankkk uuuu