Broken

In a way I am a toy,

Left alone and broken,

My heart, a silent mute,

Quiet and unspoken.

In some ways I feel different,

But in others feel the same,

My life was coming together,

And then along you came.

Now I am this person,

With too many regrets,

The guitar in the corner,

Broken strings and broken frets.

I use to feel like flying,

'Til you pulled off my wings,

I still feel like a puppet,

I cannot break the strings.

So in some ways you could say,

That I am but a toy,

Left alone and broken,

By an unforgotten boy.

 

Reviews

[Sunflower 20]

this incredible. its very subtle with a great message. i really liked this piece ^_^

[Andrew Tyler McCown]

beautiful. Emotion resounds through the whole of the poem. The rhyming works. I love how the poem ends and how it connects with the opening. I am thrown off by line 3. "Silent Mute." Silent is redundant. but instead of changing it, I would upgrade your simile to a metaphor. Instead of "is like a silent mute" try "my heart a silent mute" or even "my heart is a silent mute" but kick out the "like." Use less words to say more.

[[untitled]]

A heartfelt and bittersweet poem. I enjoyed reading this very much.

A critique, if you don't mind, though . . .

"I used to feel like flying,"

I would change "used" to "use".

Other than that, this poem SOARS and is truly a piece that is felt deep within the readers heart.