A Lack of Faith

For all there was, and all there will be,

For time, peace, and integrity.

Now I look above, will I become a memory?

And all this feeling trapped inside of me,

Is eating at the edges of my boundaries,

I scream just to be heard by anyone,

But a painful silence is all that comes,

I confess forgotten thoughts, just revived,

Express it all, or at least I'll try,

But in my way, lies a depressed obstruction,

A cynical world, thats under construction,

And blinded by contradiction,

War, pain and addiction,

This world leaves little to the imagination,

I stare in agony, and realize I'm leaving,

They say I'm going to a "better place"

But I don't believe them.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Orlando Murcia]

I feel exactly the same write now
People tell me I am going to Heaven
but I know I am going sraight to Hell
I really enjoyed this piece

Thank you fopr sharing
I really can relate to this


Orlando M

[Andrew Tyler McCown]

I'm not sure that the poem works entirly . I think the second half is stronger because it is more concrete than the first half which is obscure to the point of confusion. The part about you leaving in line 13 is also a little unclear, I see the references to death in line 14 but you contridict that when you talk about being alive on line 7.
How are you a sea of memories? is the narrator old in the poem? expand this idea.

At first I did not like the word "intergrity" at the end of line 2, it felt forced in there with the rhyme pattern, and although that may be the reason for its existance, the more I read it the more I think it works. I like the idea of the integrity of mankind.
I like the rhyme with the words contridiction and addiction and I like the concept you introduce in the last two lines. The last line matches the idea of being a in a cynical world very well.

Overall, I wouldn't recommend rewriting it but maybe just pulling out the strong ideas BUT the poem does flow very well and would sound good read out loud.