Hoping for the mr right to come along. Because waiting is not everyones forte. How it feels towait for someone you dont know but deep down you feel it all
Everyone always dream of their perfect person to sweep them off of their feet and love them until the ends of the Earth. There is longing in this poem, but waiting until the right person comes along is the best solution for a good relationship. If he/she is a jerk to you and you guys have nothing in common then it's bound to be a toxic relationship. I waited for a extremely long time before I trusted a guy with my heart until I knew without any doubt that he was the one for me, and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. Wait it out, it's totally worth it :)
Anyways back to the poem! I like the consistency in the periods at the ends of the stanzas and the capitalization of destiny. It stands out against the rest of the words and gives a different importance level than the rest. I also like the placements of the commas. It gives a nice break in the poem and makes it flow nicer. Overall a very nice poem :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Awww...thank you so much for such a wonderful review...and am very glad to know that you found ur mr.. read moreAwww...thank you so much for such a wonderful review...and am very glad to know that you found ur mr right....God Bless all of us...keep smilling..:)
I agree, this evokes a sense of longing, the heart's
impatience to find its mate. very well crafted poem.
enjoyed the imagery & rhyming scheme.
thank you for sharing (:
It will be always there and someone called it Kismet and someone called it Destiny but it is true something is there.
Kismet or Destiny?
Question that never end,
Great write as well read too.
I feel that was inspired by a good book you are reading , hehe, and you wrote that well, the love that you are writing about and how that destiney will make it all settled, i guess so... well yeah you wrote that in a very great way my darling
Hahahaha...who knoes u could be my inspiration darlng....thank you and knoe dat i luv u soooo very m.. read moreHahahaha...who knoes u could be my inspiration darlng....thank you and knoe dat i luv u soooo very much...:D
10 Years Ago
ohmy darling....i love you moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. yeahyeah been missin you :P
10 Years Ago
Hahahaha idiot...go bak to studies..:p..u gotta make me proud baby..
That is a long burning question that no one can answer… is everything laid out for us or do we make the decisions that effect the outcome. Especially when it comes to love.
I had some of the same impressions Brandon did and I see you've already improved this poem greatly. Like him I'm terrible at rhyming poems, so I'm not particular about rhyme schemes, and you changed some of the awkward wording. I love the eroticism of this write and it takes me back to the time when I was young and wondering what my Mr. Right would be like. Well done, Fancy!
Go & get undressed. I`m coming your way. I`m gonna catch ya --- keep falling for me. I`ll show you how the fire tastes. I`m sure, you`d then.. better come to know... see... even face, what a Destiny`s `bout & you better taste what KISMAT is.
Watch it RIGHT NOW!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0GpKbD1reM
Go & be ready! And, Don`t forget to wear black top & Maroon lingerie, Hell wear "Layer" Deodorant either. It makes you more drunk in love.
(Kidding)
Anyway -- very nice poetry. I enjoyed reading your words. You are seemed fallen into the love of someone which`s very good to read in words. Keep writing. You are very good at writing such pieces.
And, I figure it all out that you are improving your skills indeed. I see, your latest stuffs are kinda sexy & well functioned at appropriate lines as well. Your flow`s kinda uplifting with time. So, I suggest you to keep writing.. even start writing in regular basis. It`s help you flying more up in the sky.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Wooooow...thank you for the compliments they mean a lot..:) wats the youtube video??...
10 Years Ago
Watch out yourself. It`s porn, `bout sex, `bout lust, `bout eroticism & `bout desperation of blood l.. read moreWatch out yourself. It`s porn, `bout sex, `bout lust, `bout eroticism & `bout desperation of blood lust. Watch it yourself first. You`d enjoy. Have some believe in me. It`s hot sex. You`d get warmed up! Enjoy and imagine me.
10 Years Ago
Ok so it means i shud die befr i even think of watching it..:p
10 Years Ago
Yeah, that`s all I need you to ---- get died. I wanna make you totally dead. So -- don`t waste your .. read moreYeah, that`s all I need you to ---- get died. I wanna make you totally dead. So -- don`t waste your time ... go & watch that naked beauty. Hell, it`s so warmed. And, don`t forget to keep your pillow next to your bed at the time of watching that video.
Oh .. Common --- I was all kidding damnit! See that video --- it`s not what i`d just told ya. Don`t .. read moreOh .. Common --- I was all kidding damnit! See that video --- it`s not what i`d just told ya. Don`t ya have believe in me? Do you really think that I`d sent you those creepy erotic stuffs??
10 Years Ago
Nops i was jus kidding relax....i will watch it later...cnt watch it ryt now..:)
10 Years Ago
Ah - I think, you got ready to get undressed. Hell, I made ya so warmed. What a pleasure to me! Cool.. read moreAh - I think, you got ready to get undressed. Hell, I made ya so warmed. What a pleasure to me! Cool.
So...some thoughts. I like this, but there might be a few things. well....here.
1. the beginning and the end sort of contradict each other.....is it destiny if he doesn't care? Or is this about desperation? Perhaps try....."But you have hidden,you don't dare."
2. "How you look or how you had be" ...had be? Perhaps "you'll be"? I am not sure what you meant that to be.
3.I like your imagery, but you seem to be waffling on your rhyme scheme. Was this on purpose? I am horrible at rhyme schemes ( save for controlled moments ), so I tend to avoid them as I would avoid a cat on crack ( they are super skittish and known to claw ).
Okay, just the three things of the top of my head.
But again, this has a lot of promise. I like where this is going!