Lodestar

 

I walked down to the ocean

alone. When she left,

the sky was bruised over and sinking.

I took off my clothes,

showed myself to the sea.

Waited for the whales to start singing.

 

I could never sleep soundly

alone. My mind rent,

sending out tendrils like beacons.

Holed up in a box

with a bottle of brown,

waiting for a change in the season.

 

There were nine of us waiting

alone. When she left,

there was dutiful drinking and dancing.

When the music stopped playing

we took off our masks.

Nine strangers discussed refinancing.

 

I walked down to the ocean,

alone. My mind rent,

broadcasting songs for the orca.

I took off my clothes,

showed myself to the sea,

and a lodestar emerged from Europa.

 

Reviews

[Writergurl]

This is a strong emotional read. I can feel your words.

[Jessey Valentine]

Beautiful imagery. I found myself drawn to the line "the sky was bruised over." The pain of an ending. Additionally, the line "holed up in a box with a bottle of brown," is a universal coping mechanism that I know I can viscerally feel. I am not a poet, at least not since middle school. LOL. The girl who writes little lines on her Pee Chee like "Love is like a roll of file it develops in the dark." :-) (I did not write that.)
I felt the images and came away feeling the cycle of change, the evolutions of life. We have all been there if we are lucky.
Thanks, J

[Robert Trakofler]

I have two stepbrothers that no longer speak with each other, one gave part of his liver to save his mother the other refused to visit her in the hospital... as you might imagine it was not a pleasant funeral. Money is a poor replacement for effort and time but even a more lacking element to family for reasons I will never understand somehow they get mixed money will never be my god nor my love they don't belong in the same family:(

[Arms of Sleep]

The funeral of a loved one and, with family who are concerned for the inheritance of the household and behaving as phonies. You drink and want to be alone but can't get away from reality, you go for a walk at night on the beach and skinny dip to take some fashion of control.

This is how I see it and it hits home for me. Very very good with some strange imagery, that I don't understand but feels right.

[Ase]

whales are the most efficient form of travel to lunar mooners all over this gravity bowl

[Dave Brown]

this is very good, unfortunate if it was a real event.
I read quite a few of your pieces (have not read you previously) and for what it's worth, I don't think you 'need' the images, there is more than enough 'meat' in this piece to easily stand on its own but certainly, images make things a bit more interesting

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we can be writers with many masks and sometimes cover up the honesty with one.
but this is no frills...this is getting down to the bare truth, literally...
showing oneself to the sea and its creatures and being accepted for who we are.
unfortunately we have to put our clothes back on to return to real life...and again, keep those masks handy....
love that phrase "my mind rent"---
really strong piece of writing....i like the picture it paints....and prefer just the poetry to do that....but as a separate, i really appreciate your art as well...
j.

[M.]

Oh my, what a picture this paints... and you did it without a painting this time! XD

I hope to never have the chance to experience this, though of course we all do, but you make dark moments something beautiful...

[Amy Carraby]

you were sad so, you showed a whale your penis. this is just the kind of constructive adult behavior i can get behind.

it sounds like this is about a funeral so, maybe i shouldn't make jokes about it then. i think it's very nice.

but, the rhythm is like a limerick. is it just me?

[Chris Shaw]

A beautiful, wistful piece of writing. So visual, I could see that walk into the ocean , and I was anticipating hearing the sounds of whales singing. The lodestar making an entrance to guide you. Although this is a sad piece I felt that this wasn't a goodbye. You would receive direction and you would walk out of the water a wiser man. Lovely work.

Chris