Death song

I wrote this inspired by the movie hocus pocus's song come little children

 

 

 

Come to me.

I'll kill you.

I'll kill thee to never be again to see light of day.

Songs of death I sing.

I'll sing into the night.

A spell to bring you to your end of days.

Singing your death song.

Come little children.

I'll take the away,into a land of enchantment.

Come little children,The times come to play.

Here in my garden of shadows.

Follow sweet children,I'll show thee the way.

Through all the pain and the sorrows.

Weep not poor children,for life is this way.

Murdering beauty and passions.

Hush now dear children,It must be this way.

To weary of life and deceptions.

Rest now my children,for soon we'll away.

Into the calm and the quiet .

come little children,I'll take thee away,into

a land of enchantment .

Come little children.

I'll take thee away.

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Lots of grammatical errors, but an intriguing, ghoulish, yet engaging idea. The underlying theme of the poem is quite good and was greatly enjoyed. You need to work more on the execution, however.

Best regards,

Rick

[Ruby Moon]

Nice picture... first i thought that this chac was a manic but then, little by little i see that she is almost as a mother, trying to protect (by killing them) the children from being spoilt and disillusioned

[Pookie]

Crazy awesome, gave me goosebumps. And the way you formated it. It was way cool. I liked it. And the picture made it so real. I loved it.

[Rima]

Dark, alluring-
great job!
It flows really well and has a nice edge to it

[Sseoni]

Awesome poem! It was creepy and dark, but that's what made it so good! XD