Pin to a bubble

Dont burst my dreams..basicaly

A dream lingers in my heart.

Never let my dreams burst like a pin to a bubble.

Not tonight especialy tonight.

Were alone under a moonlit sky.

let us be together.

So I wont cry.

Please, oh please.

I beg you ,please.

Dont let my dreams burst like a pin to a bubble.

 

Reviews

[Alicia™]

I like this poem… Good job.

[Susan14]

this is really good, but poor bubble i really loved it and its so touching to the heart, i loved this and it shows so much feeling in it

[Donovan "Grey Wolf" Go..]

wow nice, but poor bubble :(, lol
Loved it its so touching

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Fanciful Goddess,

You certainly have your dreams. And you seem to know how to express your hopes for their survival. Quite a longing, actually, and a fear, I guess. Well expressed, anyway.

A very nice poem.

Rick

[Lunar Lightning]

Very nice, symbolic, but to the point, which is nice. Don't forget about spelling and grammar, though.

Luna

[Momo the Elf]

i could really feel the emotions here~ i especially love the title, i think its so creative. nice repetition of that same idea, too. the wording was brilliant. wonderful write~!

[Aldora Sparrow]

Ambivalence is what I felt reading this. Warmth from the sweetness, sadness from the desperate hope to make it last, and empathy because I wish that as well. I loved the simile of a lost dream to a pin to a bubble. pop! and it is gone into nothingness. Very sweet. Just a tiny edit. "Were" should be "We're" apart from that, this is amazing. Short 'n sweet. Nice work!

[Tara Ghorm]

Aw! It was cute and sad at the same time. It makes me think of bubbles shining in the light showing off all it's beautiful rainbow colors, and then all the sudden being burst. It touched me! Good work!

[Third Grace]

beautiful image of dreams being as delicate and transparent as a bubble, and it only takes a pin point of pressure to tear them to shreds.

[SoulofManyFaces]

This to me sounds like young love.