Moon maiden

A maiden of the moon plays a sad melody cuz her heart has been broken

The moon maiden pick up her violin.

She begins to play  a sad melody.

She cant play a  happy melody.

She is much to sad.

Far to melocholy.

In a melocholy world.

Saddness is in her heart.

Tears fall from her eyes.

The moonlight glows into her eyes.

Tears break upon the ground from the violin.

Just as her heart has been broken.

"saddness go away"

She says.

Not knowing if its realy the truth.

Dose her love,love another.

Shes feeling powerless.

Unworthy of his love.

The river cried.

But she cant get over him.

He's her one and only true love.

Love that cant be told

"go away!"

The dawn comes.

She puts her violins away and goese off after her only love.
She wins in the end.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

ignore mistakes

Reviews

[emmajoy]

You've worked hard with this poem .. it flows beautifully.

I fully apppreciate the words and meanings in this post; it's very romantic and sensitive, sad yet optimistic. It has good balance, there's some fine meter - although it's erratic in places.

You say 'ignore mistakes' but, I think the mistakes spoil your work; there are at least twelve errors. What could be brilliant writing is marred by bad spelling and common grammar mistakes. That's sad, you let yourself down.

Will carry on reading your work because there are some very unusual and individual thoughts and themes in it.

Thank you for sharing.

[deeps]

beautiful and emotional write here...like it

[Tallulah]

This was a very beautiful poem. In the beginning it was kinda repetitive but then it started moving along nicely. I like the idea. Great job.

[X_Emo_Princess_X]

is that sailor moon in the pic? that was pretty good. OK. I will ignore mistakes. maybe you should use a thesauraus and look up other words for words that you repeat a lot because there is a lot of repetition. but that's OK i still love it!

[Sseoni]

Aw, what a cute poem! I absolutely loved it! It was so emotional! Loved it! Fantastic poem! Keep up the good work! :D