Beast in the Mirror

She tried to show them what they had become but they were living life to fast to stop and notice.

The air was dark and bland with a light sort of gray which seemed to envelop the dark in a depressing sort of feeling. It was the embodiment of what the world had become. Evelyn sat on edge of the sidewalk, feeling invisible even though she knew she was clearly visible to all.
    People walked on the sidewalk up and down at a quick and blinding pace, determined looks on their faces. Anger and annoyance flashed across their faces if one person made the mistake of stepping in front of their pathways. This was what the world had become, a mess of people walking (running) through life to fast, like a roller coaster. When they finally get off, they find themselves dizzy and nauseous. That’s why most never stop.
    Evelyn cradled a small silver hand held mirror, she knew why the world couldn’t see her. Every person had become so preoccupied with themselves that they cared for no one else. She had been on this earth for a hundred and fifty years and each decade people cared less and less. Evelyn looked poor and homeless now, that’s why no one saw her. They were to busy thinking about themselves to help someone in need.
    Someone kicked her to show their hatred. “Get a job, you worthless nothing. Get off your lazy a*s and work. Maybe then, you’ll be able to live a half way decent life.”
Evelyn looked up at the man standing above her and slowly lifted the mirror to him. Her arm shook with the mirror’s weight. “Look.” Her voice rasped from lack of use and she attempted to clear it. “Look through the looking glass and see what you are. See what your kind has become.”  The man looked into the mirror and saw a hideous, deformed beast. He saw a monster. “Look through the looking glass and see who you really are.” The witch’s voice rang through his head. He tried to turn away but the image was already embedded in his mind.
    “You may be able to trick them and pretend you’re something you’re not, but you can’t trick the looking glass. You can’t trick me.” The man shook his head slightly and began to walk away, mumbling about hallucinations and insane homeless people.
    “You can’t trick the looking glass and now you can’t  even trick yourself. You’ll forever see yourself as what you truly are; a beast! The looking glass will not let you forget!”
    But he was already gone, back on his roller coaster, living life to fast, ignoring what the looking glass revealed.

Author's Note

I want to submit this for my schools literary magazine but i want criticism first. Tell me everything and anything you don't like about it, even if it seems small and insignificant. Also let me know of any grammar and spelling problems cause i fail at finding those. And please help me find another word for ass cause i'm not sure if they'll publish it with that word in it but the word still has to sound really angry without be a curse word. Last but not least if you have any ideas about a title let me know cause i'm kinda iffy about this one.

Reviews

[Sincerely, Sofia]

I really like this piece. Its perfect for your school magazine.