Why Try?

why did she even bother when she knew that everything she had in her wasnt enough?

“When are you going to stop thinking about yourself and realize there are other people in the world?” His voice was angry and accusing. He paused looking at the girl who was staring indifferently back at him. He closed his eyes and touched his temples lightly; he was frustrated.

 

She looked at him blankly, hoping he was receiving her attitude as though she didn’t care. She hoped that he wasn’t looking at her close enough to see the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She hadn’t asked for all this. She wasn’t God or anything close to it. She was the one they came to when they needed something. When their life was falling a part, they turn to her. They expected her to some how make it all better. To pull a magic wand out of her a*s, wave it around like some fairy princess and turn anything in shambles into something beautiful and flawless. She wishes she could do that.

 

Her own life was shattered into pieces. If she can’t fin her own life what made them think she could fix theirs?  She wished that she could just sit alone where no one could b other and rot. Then maybe she could die in peace.

 

He called her selfish. Just because she wanted to end it all…She didn’t want all the people depending on her all the time.  She didn’t want to be the one stable component in so many people’s lives. She wanted to be able to crumble, fall, and just be left in piece. She didn’t want to have to pull herself back together in order to please others. She just wanted to stay broken….

 

His eyes open. “You always end up being a disappointment. You never do anything right.. I don’t even see why I bother with you.”

 

The tears spilled from her eyes. Disappointment…that’s all she ever was. No matter how much she tried, no matter how much she gave …it was never enough. She poured her heart out trying to be what others wanted her to be, trying to live up to others expectations.

 

Why did he even bother…why did she? If everything she had in her wasn’t enough then he was right…why should either of them bother at all. Trying would just lead to more disappointment.

 

She looked at him for one last time. Then she made her way of the room. Her last words echoed loudly in the quiet room…

 

“Hopefully this will end your disappointment…”