Of Root Beer Floats

For me, you reside in memories

Of root beer floats and puzzles

So to say I don't think of you much

Would be a lie...

 

Even after you left

I kept old traditions alive

Every problem

That has ever arised

In my life

Has been fixed

With a root beer float

(Chocolate ice cream, no whipped cream,

hold the cherry)

And a thousand piece puzzles...

Comfort food

And time to think

All in one moment

 

"Nothing better" You'd say

"Then the sweet mix

Of root beer and ice cream."

(Heaven's nectar,

You swore by the moon)

"To jog your brain

Into thinking....

I was so doubtful then.....

Maybe that's why you left

 

"Nothing more calming"

You would whisper

"Then solving a puzzle..."

(Nothing more distracting

Then putting together

A complex puzzle

That seems so simple)

I hate puzzles

Avoided them at all cost

Is that why you left?

 

I hated

these sessions

They took forever

i always complained....

 

We never finished

Any of those puzzles

Always would swear

A piece was missing

Though we knew otherwise

We just didn't want

To start that puzzle over....

 

Now you're gone

Took your unique energy

With you

We never finished those puzzles

And we never reached

That ridiculous goal of

A million root beer floats

 

But now I sit here alone

half finished puzzle

Before me

And a root beer float

(Chocolate ice cream, no whipped cream,

Hold the cherry

Just like you like it)

By my side

 

I sit there checking

Off a chart on a chart

Each root beer float I finish

(Getting closer to a million)

And examining puzzle pieces

(So close to being finished)

 

I'm doing all this

For you

Because I swear by the moon

I hate puzzles

(they're almost impossible

To solve)

And those root beer floats

Are making me fat

But I don't wanna

Forget you

So I keep going.

 

And for me

You reside within memories

Of a thousand piece puzzles

And root beer floats....

 

Author's Note

I like this poem too. What do you guys think. Is it any good? Feel free to tear it apart.

Reviews

[Michael X]

this has a great title, and what reflects the meaning, wow, is really unique in way of describing the moment and what it takes to sooth a broken heart, or a tortured soul, which draws upon the puzzle aspect, a torture of love and
metaphorically devised, you really bring the imagery to life. excellent job!

[ikss]

This is quite powerful. The emotions you show reflected in vivid recollections speak volumes. You are quite adept at the ol' "show me, don't tell me" we strive for. As noted by Shards, it is very cinematic.

Some grammatical errors have been noted below. My only additional note relates to your use of this line: "That has ever arised"
Because...well, "arised" isn't a word, is it? That word and a couple other errors noted below made me stumble in a poem which I think otherwise essentially flawless. :)

good work!

[Melissa Kesead]

Wow, how sad is that. It's melancholy with the memories of floats and puzzles. Sweet.

[Crazy Cat Man]

wow i think you are an amazing writer......... routine makes it hard after a break up.....the routine just keeps the memories rushing back...... I stood away from Ice Cream for awhile....... but then i realized thats what my ex does with guys.....take em out for Ice Creams...... great piece

[[untitled]]

great write

[Kit o'Cuirc]

I love the first couple lines of this. They're really fresh and just draw you in to the rest of the poem. The whole image of sitting with a rootbeer float, next to a puzzle and checking off the number of floats on a chart is very vivid. I can almost see it. It also feels very lonely which I'm thinking is the idea.
(also check second stanza, 7th line. I have a feeling that's a typo)
-Kit

[Alfred's Word]

Great poem! the flow is very good. Nice work!

[Shards]

A lovely piece of writing
that flows like a good movie with
deep and personal subject matter
eloquently painted for others to relate to

I really liked it just
a few things I noticed....

"I was so doubtful than....." - the than a then maybe?
"We never finished that puzzles" - the that a those maybe?
"Of f a chart on a chart" - off a chart maybe?
"Ypu reside within memories" - ypu to you

[Marlena]

Why tear it apart when it's perfect? I love it, I love the whole root beer float thing XD VERY cute, one of my favorites from you. ^^