Nothing Special

She wants to be something special

People tell me that I'm special

I tell them its a lie

Tell them I'm the apple

Of no one's eye

 

They look at me and wonder

Where the pain hides

The truth is

in my heart

and  every fear filled cry 

 

Every sunrise I wonder

Why is it I'm alive

Every night I pray

That I won't live to see another day.

 

I know I'm nothing special

I ask them not to lie

 

Author's Note

It's not that good, I kno it needs help with the flow. Any ideas?

Reviews

[Drakana Wind]

Awww.... It's soo sad!!! But I love it. It's really descriptive and it puts words to real emotions. I'm not sure what problems you think the flow has but the only thing was I was expecting the last line of the third stanza to rhyme with "eye" and "cry" and "lie"; somehow, though, the fact that it doesn't rhyme doesn't seem to matter much. It's a really good poem.

[Winter Poison]

Actually, the flow is very good, but it could use a little more description and depth. Like, say, adding certain quote or phrases said that the girl denies, or scenarios to support her belief. But it's still good. :D

[Lexi Nicole]

So emotion-driven. I love it. I do agree, though, that the flow needs a little help. There are some parts where the words make you stumble a little. Like in "Every sunrise I wonder/Why is it I'm alive" it a little difficult to read through. Maybe switch "is" and "it"? That might make a more even flow between the lines. And I agree with Your Victim that the last line in the first stanza is a bit short. It needs another word to make it go with the rest of the lines.

Overall, though, really nice work. You've gotten in touch with feelings and situations that most people don't want to think about. Good job!

-Howl

[Your Victim]

This is such a sad poem... but unfortunately, it captures the realistic feelings of so many people (mainly teens) around the world.
As for help with the flow... I agree that it was a little off in some places. The best way to fix this is to brainstorm adjectives that you can throw in when you need to lengthen a line a syllable or tow. For example, and I wouldn't use this specifically because I'm functioning on little sleep at the moment, the last line of the first stanza seems a little short to me. I would add a description before eye... it not only adds imagery, but it can help repair your flow. "No one's precious eye" or "No one's gleaming eye"... I can't think of words at the moment, but I hope that you get the idea. If you apply the same concept to the lines that you believe need some fixing-up, perhaps you will be more satisfied with your work that carrys such a vivid message.