Disappear

NaPo #7

She wanted it gone

She wanted to throw it

into the darkness

Forget about for forever and

never see it again

 

It had torn her apart

and then painfully sewn her back together

no pain killers, drugs or anesthesia

Just left her to cry alone

in her misery and pain

 

She just wanted it gone

to make is disappear

Never see it again It was driving her

to insanity

She wanted it gone

And she knew one way to do it

She knew how to maek the pain

Disappear for forever

 

And then it all fell into the darkness

Author's Note

i hate it.... the first version was better but then my computer ate it and wouldn't give it back. :( and when I rewrote it it just wasn't as good.
Well what can you do?
<3 Tallulah

Reviews

[Wingless Angel of Dream..]

i like the feelings behind the poem, but yea i see how u can dislike it. so heres some constructive criticism:

Never see it again It was driving her ((((does this capital it mean it is a new line?))))

to insanity

She wanted it gone

And she knew one way to do it

She knew how to maek the pain ((((make))))

Disappear for forever



And then it all fell into the darkness ((((just wanted to say; this is my favvvvvvvvve line XDD)))

[Drakana Wind]

This isn't one of my favorite poems by you, but it's not that bad, either. It's difficult to figure out what "it" is and the poem kind of leaves the reader wondering what the girl's problem is; even if you don't want to straight out say what "it" is, you could have made it a little clearer and left less guesswork to the reader. I think you may have typed it a little quickly because there are some typos and it seems as if the third line of the third stanza should really be broken up into two lines. Otherwise, I think the poem is pretty good.