Chapter One

A flood of red caps flew into the air as the students in the Petersburg High School Class of 2002 were finally declared graduates. Family and friends pushed their way onto the Memorial Field to congratulate those who had worked painstakingly hard to make it to that night.

            Zoey Beth Alden, a somewhat curvy girl with curly brown hair that flowed well past her shoulders, stood stoically watching as her classmates scattered about, finding their loved ones and raving about their plans to celebrate their accomplishment. She sighed heavily, realizing that even though they’d all just done the one thing that they had spent the past four years dreaming about, everything was about to change. Life was about to get even more complicated.

            “Congratulations, honey,” Mark Alden said as he approached her from behind. “We are so proud of you!”

            Zoey turned around to face him, forcing a smile. “Thanks, Dad.” At five-foot-seven, she still had to stand on her tiptoes to hug her father. He was a giant of a man who had a tendency to frighten anyone who didn’t know what a gentle person he really was. Her smile faltered when she saw the Katie, a petite blond that Zoey had known most of her life, standing off to the side not too far away. However, she quickly recovered and turned away from her dad to greet her mom and little sister, Dani, who were both standing there as well. “It’s been a rough year. Glad I actually made it to graduation at all.”

            Regina Alden, stared at her daughter, sharing every ounce of pain that felt. She knew the second that Zoey had spotted her dad’s young secretary who was failing miserably at trying to blend in with the crowd. She saw the way she’d tensed up right before letting go of Mark.

            The smile Regina had been sporting slowly faded away when she saw the animosity in Zoey’s eyes as the younger version of herself turned to her. Even though Regina had encouraged her daughter not to have hard feelings towards her father, she knew that Zoey did. She opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted before she could get a single word out.

            “Hey, Zo! I found your cap,” a short girl with hair dyed a fiery-red said as she joined them. She handed over the tasseled square that she was holding before throwing her arms around her best friend in a tight hug and exclaiming how happy she was that they’d finally graduated.

            “Thanks, Amber!”

            Zoey and Amber Blake had been friends since elementary school along with Samantha Harper. Despite their vast differences, the three girls had formed a bond over boy bands and other random weirdness. They were practically sisters, and spoke of each other as such. Samantha’s parents had pretty much adopted the other two as their own on many occasions, and that was just fine with Zoey’s and Amber’s parents as they were far too busy to worry about their own children’s extracurricular activities and they trusted Ron and Lisa Harper beyond measure.

            “So, my grandma wants to get a picture of us all before she has to leave, can you come over?” Amber pointed to where her mom, Lena Blake, was standing next to her Grandmother Blake who was seventy-four years old and confined to a wheelchair.

            Zoey nodded before looking at her parents. “Let’s walk over there and get some pictures. We gotta find Sam too.”

            “I can’t believe he actually brought her,” Amber whispered, referring to Katie as they walked ahead.

            “I know, right?”

            “You ok?”

            “I’m fine. Just irritated, I guess.”

            They all gathered for a few quick pictures before the clouds set in overhead. “Well at least the weather waited until we got through graduation,” Zoey pointed out as she felt the first raindrop fall against her cheek. There had been warnings of rain all week and some teachers had been lobbying to hold the graduation ceremony in the gymnasium. The student body had protested heavily and surprisingly won thanks in no small part to their incredibly awesome vice-principal.

            As the rain started to pour, Amber grabbed Zoey’s hand and Zoey grabbed Samantha’s. Together, they hurried along the track to the parking lot, screaming and laughing all the way to Samantha’s parents’ vehicle. There they stopped, panting and still giggling as they waited for all of their families to join them. They watched the rest of their classmates also fleeing the field and the faculty rushing to get the PA system torn down and put away. “Mr. Miller is going to hear about this later,” Amber said with a laugh.

            “Oh well,” Samantha retorted. “Could you imagine all those people being packed in the gym?”

            “It would have sucked,” Zoey agreed.

                       

~*~*~*~

 

            Zoey’s life changed so much in the few weeks following graduation, and as expected, so did everyone else’s. Her parents became so bitter that they stopped speaking to each other except through their lawyers. Because of the upset at home, Dani was acting up. She started sneaking out of the house and hanging out with the wrong crowd despite how many times Zoey tried to talk to her. Her friends had become so preoccupied with summer jobs and getting ready to go away for college that they rarely called and never seemed to have time to hang out. She suddenly felt alone.

            One Saturday morning in July, she went into work at the local hospital where she’d been employed part-time for the past year and a half, and even though she’d only just arrived, it felt like the day was already dragging. Zoey sighed as she slid the time-card through the slot on the clock. She liked her job, don't mistake that, but it seemed more tedious than it used to be. She forced a smile and remembered what the Director of Nursing had told her during orientation a year earlier as Mrs. Malone propelled her wheelchair towards her. All attitudes and personal problems need to be checked at the door before entering the workplace.

            “Good morning, honey,” The elderly lady greeted.

            “Morning, Mrs. Malone. How are you feeling?” Zoey asked, while placing her time-card back in her purse. She glanced down the hallway, smiling at one of the nurses.

            “Oh, much better today, dear. I was just on my way to therapy. Would you mind giving me a lift?” She looked up at the young woman with a grateful smile. The 78-year-old woman had recently suffered a stroke and was slowly recovering while in the care of the medical staff at Hudson Memorial.

            “Of course! I'm going by there anyway.” Zoey threw her bag over her shoulder and then proceeded to wheel Mrs. Malone up the hallway that led to Physical Therapy. “Is Mr. Malone coming in to see you today?” Zoey questioned, trying to make small talk.

            “Yes. He will be in later, I’m sure. It isn't like Charlie to not visit on a Saturday.”

            “Yeah, I know. I admire your relationship. It seems like people these days aren’t that dedicated to each other.” Granted, she was only eighteen years old, Zoey spoke the truth from her heart. She had seen one too many divorces in her short life not to be a little bit cynical. Just two days before the start of her senior year in high school, her parents had set her and her fifteen-year-old sister down to tell them that they were getting a divorce. Of course, it was for no good reason too. Well not one that Zoey could appreciate. Her father had apparently fallen in love with a secretary at the bank where he had worked for the past twenty-one years. She was closer to Zoey’s age than she was to Mark’s. In fact, Zoey was only a few years behind her in school. It was too much for Zoey to handle sometimes.

            Mrs. Malone smiled and thanked Zoey as they reached the entrance to Physical Therapy. “You have a nice day, dear. Don't work too hard.”

            “Thank you, Mrs. Malone. You have a great day. Tell Charlie hello for me.”

            After making sure that Mrs. Malone was safely in the room, she turned and headed toward the Dietary Department’s locker room.  She quickly put her things away and grabbed her apron. Just as she was pulling her curly, brown hair into a ponytail, Hollie entered the room.

            “Hey, what's up?” She asked in her usual perky voice.

            “Not, much. How's it going?”

            “Ugh! Same ole'-same ole'! Nothing ever changes around here. Oh my God! You will not believe what happened last night!”

            Zoey fought not to actually roll her eyes and proceeded to ask what had happened yet again in the soap opera that her friend and co-worker had going on. 

            “Well, I went to Jake's house thinking that maybe we could, well ya know…,” She wiggled her eyebrows and gave Zoey a suggestive grin. “But anyway…”

            Zoey nodded her head, giving the slightest sign that she was listening to Hollie rant about her boyfriend’s shortcomings while she continued getting ready for her shift. When Zoey started working at the hospital part-time during the summer before her senior year, she’d hit it off with Hollie despite their five-year age difference. They had a lot in common, and so far, Hollie seemed to be a good friend.

            “You really should give Jake a break.” Zoey said as she grabbed her identification badge and headed out the door with Hollie tagging close behind.         

            “But it was a jerk move. I’m always around when he needs me.”

            “He’d worked a double shift and his mother is in the hospital. Put yourself in his shoes!” The two women entered the dietary department where they both worked as aides. Zoey greeted a few of the older ladies who were in the dish-room when she walked in before going back to her conversation with Hollie. “You can’t really be mad at him for this. It’s unfair.”

            “I know, but I’d spent the entire evening working with Matt, and I was about to spontaneously combust,” Hollie whispered so that only Zoey could hear her. “Know what I mean?”

            Zoey snorted. “You are horrible. You know that?”

            “Yeah, yeah. But that boy stirs things, and I don’t care that he’s only seventeen, I would totally tap that.”

            “You’re such a ho.”

            “Like you wouldn’t?”

            “Can’t really say that I would.”

            “Prude.”

            Zoey laughed at her friend’s assumption and went on about starting her duties.

            The rest of the day was quiet, just the normal hustle and bustle that came with working in the busy department. Zoey did a little bit of everything from washing dishes to helping make desserts. By four o’clock, she was eyeing the clock as her last hour crept by.

            “The way you’re watching that there clock on the wall, I’d think you have some sort of hot date tonight,” Hollie pointed out as she came to stand next to Zoey who was restocking the lid bins. “So, who is he?”

            “I’m going to the gym,” Zoey informed her. It was her same old routine. She’d been doing it all year. Three times a week and nearly every Saturday, she worked out.  Her weight had always been an issue and she was finally doing something about it. Of course, the fact that she had already lost some decent poundage hadn’t helped her self-esteem at all, but she was certain it would improve eventually. She surely couldn’t hate herself forever.

            Usually, she was pretty good at hiding her self-loathing and other minor mental issues regarding her self-worth and social anxiety, but lately it had become a little more challenging for her. She assumed it had something to do with all the changes going on around her. It was making her a little unstable, and she wasn’t able to control herself as well as she had been in the past. Still, there were only a few select people who could actually see through her charade. Hollie Tate wasn’t one of them.

            “God, you’re so boring!” Hollie groaned, picking up a sleeve of lids to help Zoey stock the bins.

            Zoey grinned knowing if Hollie knew who her work out partner was, she wouldn’t be saying that. However, she never dared to tell the older woman because she didn’t trust her not to show up and spoil their sessions by trying to creep on Matt the way she had the tendency to do at work. That and Zoey really wasn’t really interested in flaunting her friendship with Matt around. It was still somewhat hard for her to explain not to mention there were times it still confused her. Occasionally, she even felt embarrassed for him if someone saw them together. She didn’t want to be the fault of his social humiliation.

 

~*~*~*~

            When Zoey arrived at the local gym, Matt was already there, he called out to her from where he was jogging on one of the treadmills. He was a year younger than she was. He had sandy-blonde hair, gorgeous baby-blue eyes, and a nice athletic build.

            While in high school, she only knew him in passing. He was on the football team, ran track, and she was almost certain he played baseball too. However, it wasn’t until he started working at the hospital that she got to know him better. That whole experience definitely taught her about not judging a book by its cover. She’d kind of always assumed that he was a typical jock and that he wouldn’t give anyone who wasn’t a cheerleader the time of day. She couldn’t have been more wrong about him. What she didn’t know about him immensely outweighed what she did know about him. For instance, he was active in his church’s youth group, he was a member of the local 4H chapter, and he had volunteered at the local nursing home since he was five. Ultimately, he was the most kind and caring person she’d ever met. Also, his girlfriend wasn’t a cheerleader. She was the president of their high school’s Teen’s for Christ Club.  

            Zoey’s own anxiety and any reservations she had about working with him flew straight out the window the moment Matthew Parker started talking to her. He was polite, kind, and he saw her. Really, saw her. Too many times she’d had conversations with people, and she’d felt like they were looking past her or doing anything possible to not look into her eyes; but not Matt. Matt looked directly into her eyes when he spoke, and he looked directly into her eyes while she spoke. It was somewhat unnerving at first, but eventually she learned that somehow Matthew Parker calmed her crazy�"on so many levels.  

            She was glad when he started working out at the gym with her. It hadn’t been her idea. She’d just been there one night when he showed up for his workout and he suggested that they make it a routine. She’d been skeptical about it in the beginning but after a couple of weeks, she found that she enjoyed having the company. It made the time go by faster.

            Matt was also great at being supportive, and he encouraged her without being a total a*s, much unlike the trainers who actually worked at the gym. She wished that more guys were like him in general.

            “Hey, Matt! What's up?” She greeted as she entered the equipment area and headed for the treadmill next to him.

            “Thought I’d do some running. Gotta get in better shape for summer training.”

            Zoey smirked slightly and looked him over. “How much better shape can you get in?” Zoey couldn’t deny that he did have a great body, and on occasion, she could even relate to Hollie’s dilemma the night before. However, she loved their friendship, no matter how strange it sometimes made her feel, and there was no way she would dishonor their bond by objectifying him.

            “A lot according to my coach,” he replied with a laugh. “My time still isn’t the greatest. I gotta build up my speed.”

            “So, shave your legs and gel your hair.”

            “Huh?” He asked, completely thrown off.

            She laughed. “What? Don’t you ever watch TV?”

            He rolled his eyes and began to increase the speed on his treadmill as Zoey got on the empty one beside him. “Apparently not the same shows as you.”

            “Oh well. It was just a suggestion. How's Angie?”

            “I think we’re about to break up again,” he replied, grimacing slightly at the mention of his on-again, off-again girlfriend.

            “Oh. Sorry.” She replied, mentally slapping herself for asking.

            “It's ok. I should have known. I mean everyone told me that it wouldn’t work out this time any more than it did the last time. I thought third time’s a charm though.”

            “Yeah, not always.”

            He actually had to laugh at that. “Yeah, well now I know that.”

            “Still sucks though. I was really hoping she’d change for you this time.”

            He looked down, once again changing the speed on his treadmill. “Thanks.”

“Well if you’re in the market, I know someone at work that would probably dump her boyfriend to go out with you�"among other things.”

He laughed. “Hollie?”

“That was a no brainer, huh?”

“She’s so obvious about it, too. Did she tell you about kissing me?”

“What?” Zoey almost tripped over her own feet. “When?”

“A few weeks ago. I don’t even know how it came up, but apparently someone dared her.”

“I bet it was the same girls who write your name on their plates with ketchup before bringing them back to be washed.”

“What is wrong with people?” He asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Aw, you’re just so darn cute all the ladies are falling over themselves.”

He glanced over at Zoey, wondering what she really thought about them. He was certain

that he, himself wouldn’t refer to them as ladies. “Ok, enough about my love-life, what’s up with yours? Seeing anyone new?”

            She laughed cynically. “Right. Am I ever seeing anyone new or otherwise?”

            “Well, you never know. You were out of town for the weekend. You could have met someone.”

            “I don't know. Guys aren’t really interested in dating cows,” she replied, with a repulsed expression on her face.

            Matt glanced over at her and bit his lower lip, suppressing the urge to say something. He opted to let it go and focused on running for a while. However, once he’d had enough of thinking about what she said, he pressed stop on his treadmill and then reached over to stop hers as well. “Come play racquetball with me.”

            She looked at him as she regained her balance after the stumble that the change in pace caused. She noticed that he was scowling when he stepped down from his treadmill. Befuddled by his sudden mood swing, she followed him out of the gym and around the corner to the racquetball court.

            Matt closed the door, handing her a racquet. “You're not a cow.”

            “Seriously, that’s what you’re pissed about?” She sighed and walked to her side of the court. “Look, I was being sarcastic.” It wasn’t the first time that Matt had scolded her for talking about herself in such a negative way.

            “Well I don’t think it’s funny. You shouldn’t talk about yourself that way.”

            “But you know it’s not exactly untrue,” she said with a pointed look. She was still beyond confused by his anger over her own self-assessment.

            “Zo, you’ve been so down on yourself about this for the last couple of weeks. What's going on? Did something happen?”

            “No. Nothing happened. I’ve always felt like this,” she shrugged. “I guess I’ve just been better at hiding it.”

            “That’s what I don’t get,” Matt explained, his tone giving away his frustration. “Why do you see yourself that way?”

            “Matt, seriously, look at me! It’s what I see every time I look in my mirror. How can you see anything different?”

            “You want to know what I see when I look at you, Zoey? I see my friend,” he stated matter of factly. “I see a kind, caring, and beautiful woman. I look past the weight that bothers you so much. It’s not what matters, and even though it’s completely irrelevant; have you not noticed that you have slimmed down in the last year? ‘Cause I have. I’ve noticed, Zo, and I’m pretty damned sure that others have too,” he continued as he sent the ball soaring through the air for a practice shot.

            Zoey watched the ball slam into the wall and bounce harshly back to the floor as tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

            Matt stared at her for a moment, wondering if he’d been a little too harsh with his words.

            She bent over and grabbed the ball that was rolling on the ground. When she stood back up, Matt was right beside her, standing close enough that she bumped into him. He simply took her into his arms and hugged her tightly. She breathed in, smelling an intoxicating mixture of Old Spice and sweat. A feeling of vulnerability washed over her, and she broke down and cried, sobbing heavily against his shoulder.

            “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to be so harsh. It just frustrates me, Zo.

            “It’s ok,” she whispered. “You’re right. I do have to work on how I see myself.” She pulled away from him and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. “I’ve just been under a lot of stress this month. I’m sorry…”

            Matt shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize. Just stop being so hard on yourself.”

            She sniffled and looked around the room awkwardly. “So, um, are we gonna play or just stand here like idiots?”

            He grinned his cutest lopsided grin and reached down to pick up their racquets. He handed one to her and kept the other for himself. “Let’s see what ya got.”

 

~*~*~*~

            Almost an hour later, after much laughing and more fun than Zoey had in a while. Matt dropped his racquet and bent over to rest his hands on his knees. “I’m beat.”

            “Com' on I was just gettin' started!” Zoey teased, but in reality, she was in worse shape than he was, she was just torturing herself.

            “I was here working out before you!”

            “Ok, fine.” She gathered up their racquets and put them away before she walked over to the door where he was standing. “Heading home now?”

            “I could hang out for a while until you're done. I need a ride home.”

            “Oh, and you think that I'm gonna give you one?”

            “Yeah. Winner’s prize was a ride home. Didn’t I tell you that?”

            “Who said you won?” She asked.

            “Ok, we’ll call it a tie.”

            She smiled appreciatively. “Well since you’re being so generous, I guess it’s the least I could do. I just want to get some weights in before I leave. It shouldn’t take long.”

            “Thanks. I’m gonna walk next door and grab a drink. You want anything?”

            “No. I’m good, thanks.”

            “Ok. I’ll be back in a few minutes to spot you.”

            About a half an hour later, as they walked through the parking lot to her car, Matt turned to her with a grin. “Thanks again for the ride.”

            “No problem.” She said as she unlocked the doors. She slid into the driver's seat and started the engine. “Where’s your truck anyway?”

            “Mom needed it. Hers is in the shop”

            She pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards the south side of town. Once she came to a stop outside his house, she looked over at him. She was shocked to meet his eyes. She really had a thing for blue-eyed blondes. She didn’t quite understand it. “Well, here we are. By the way, thanks for earlier. I’m working on my self-image, but hard to change when I’ve always looked at myself one way.”

            “What are friends for?” he asked with a crooked smile. “Hey, I forgot to ask you about how things are going with your parents.”

            Zoey sighed and killed the engine on her car before settling back in her seat. “Their divorce is being finalized next week. They’re not speaking at all now.”

            “Ouch. Sorry to hear that.”

            “Yeah. It sucks. But what did I expect? Mom’s spending the majority of her time at the office now. I don’t see Dad that often, not that I really want to right now. I can’t stand the sight of Katie and she’s always around. Dani is rebelling.”

            “That’s kind of expected,” Matt noted.

            “I know, but here I am leaving for college in a few weeks. I hate the fact that I’m leaving her here with this mess. I’m worried that she’s going to end up getting hurt or worse.”

            “Have you talked to her about the way she’d been acting?”

            “I’ve tried, but she thinks she knows it all.”

            After an hour-long pseudo-therapy session with Matt, Zoey pulled up to her own home and went straight to her room once she realized that no one was home. She had nothing but love for her mom, but she was worried that she was dropping the ball in the parenting court. Both of her parents were. At Dani’s age, Zoey would have never been allowed out so late. In fact, she would have had more supervision. She tried not to harbor any hostility towards her dad, but when she looked at the way it affected her mom and Dani, it was very hard not to be mad.

            Once Zoey took her shower and put on her favorite fairy-print PJs, she logged on to the computer and waited for her buddy list to pop up. As usual lately, none of her friends were online and if they were, they had away messages in place. She sighed and entered a chat room dedicated to her favorite band, hoping that there would be some interesting conversations going on or at least someone she knew in there.             

            About an hour later, Zoey signed off the chat and checked her e-mail. There she found a short e-mail from Samantha. It was addressed to both her and Amber. Samantha’s family was having them a little going away campout at their cabin in two weeks, and Samantha was letting them know the details and that they could invite people. After she typed a quick response, she turned the monitor off and settled down on her bed with the new book that she’d picked up at the local book store the day before. She read until her eyes drifted shut.