Forbidden, Time, Life

A collection of three Tankas. Tankas are like hakuis with the lines 57577 instead of 575. Once again not some of my best work...

Forbidden

I was forbidden,
Never to see him again,
Never to touch him,
Never to taste his sweet skin,
Never to smell his cologne.

Time

An endless cycle,
It passes us by,
Never to be retrieved,
It slips away through grasping hands,
It disappears forever.

 Life

Darkness is my life,
Agony fills every step,
Pain is my burden,
Hatred fuels my endless dreams,
As blood hides behind closed eyes,
While I weep silently over the shattered pieces of my soul.

Author's Note

Hope you enjoyed them, try writing a tanka- 57577

Reviews

[Walkingblind]

WOW.....never heard of a tanka before I like them!

Forbbiden, is like the story of my life. I'm always looking knowing that I'll never
be able to have, touch, or hold. So this is really cool, It sounds like desire wanting
to totally submerge yourself in the wanting of him.

Time, I love talking about how we can never have or rent time we can only experiance
it as it flows by. It doesnt care, love, hate it's totally lifeless though it determines our
lifespan so thats pretty interesting to think about!

Life, is what all writers write about and this is great. I like how it packs such a punch i love
when huge things can be summed up in a small way but still retain it's kick my favorite line
in this tanka is: Agony fills every step. This is such a great metaphor I mean I can invision
someone absolutely drenched in pain so much so that it pools in their shoes and spills out!
That is so great it really captured pain.

These are all great and I got something from each one your a very good writer keep writing
and I'll keep reading.