a.soldiers.prayer

a poem i wrote for an assessment

If I was able to go back, to start over again,

Never would i have chosen this path,

Where fear, anxiety and pain,

Is felt everyday by my enemies, my comrades and I.

Everyday, I look down at my hands,

At the blood of the innocent that now stains it.

I close my eyes, and all I see, are the vast lands,

Lands that I have destroyed, villages I have lit.

I feel like a barbarian, a ruthless murderer,

Yet, I can't make up for the wrong that I have done.

Once I leave this world, my soul will forever be trapped as a sinful wanderer,

For I have killed, I have wounded, I have ended a life with a gun.

I long for my family, for the warmth that they give me,

But I don't deserve it, knowing that I have destroyed others.

If only, I can set their souls free,

To give back to others what I have taken, their fathers, their brothers.

At night, the pain in my chest, in my heart, renders me breathless,

Pain that claws at my heart, devouring me inside out.

My heart aches for those I have slain, as my body takes on a sudden stillness,

I can't get the images out of my head, no matter how much I scream, how loud I shout.

I used to fear my death, but not anymore,

For i deserve it, and I will forgive the person who ends my life.

I will force myself to wander aimlessly around, never entering heavens doors,

Until the day I am judged, and justice is suffice.

As I kneel on this cold, hard ground,

I only ask for three wishes.

For my family to be well, for those i have killed-their sufferings renowned,

And for myself, to return to the ashes.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

"I used to fear my death, but not anymore,"
Your poem is real close to real life. I have known Soldiers who have killed and their dreams haunted by screams of mercy. No Doctor can fix a person who have killed even in self defense. We live in a world that sent young men and woman to war instead of learning to dance, sing and celebrate their youth. Last lines are true. Some Soldiers return home as only shells of what they were. Will need a lot of family support and care. The poem is powerful. Need to be read by more people. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[trainwreck]

Wow. This poem blew me away. I had no idea what to expect from the title. You did an incredible job here. This reminds me of those people I know who have left themselves behind in a war. Great piece.

[mi-chan]

this is a really good poem, u portrayed this point of view very well =) nice job

[M Garcia]

Thank you to those who have given their lives for this country and others.

[Fontane Wong]

Well done, excellent poem. Your poem is really close to real life, as Coyote said.

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

I'm with Coyote, excellent poem.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

I imagine that this speaks to a generation of people that will take it in to their hearts and relax to it's end, well done, great job.