Waking Up

I opened my eyes to see the tiles of the ceiling spinning. Right away I assumed the worst had once again happened and would have to face the embarrassment once more. I could hear the laughs and whispers of the large crowed that had gathered around me. I could feel the freshman's math teacher supporting my head, his strong hands keeping my neck straight as an arrow. I winced at the wetness of my jeans, the sting of the acidity and the heat. I knew I was blushing from my neck up because I could feel the pulse of my blood rushing through my cheeks and ears. I sat up slowly, trying to clear my spinning mind. My eyes burned with tears as I put my face behind my hands. I peeked out from my fingers just in time to see Neil Clark turn the corner of the crowded hallway. He disappeared for a moment behind a red head's shoulder but reappeared closer this time.

Neil was laughing at something Adam Kosinski ,his best friend, had said. He had stopped laughing when he seen the group of kids standing around me pointing at my wet jeans and laughing. Of course! Neil Clark, captain of the football team, the guy I've dreamed about every night of my life since second grade, would just happen to notice me the one day my body decides to just ca-put out on me. He pushed through a line of kids to see what was going on. I seen his forehead crease in shock and probably disgust at the sight of me sitting in a puddle of urine.

I couldn't just sit there any longer with his beautiful eyes staring at me sympathetically. I stood up quickly, and began to run. I gasped as my head spun again from the jolt of standing to fast and slipped in my own mess. I head kids laugh as my sneakers made a loud squeak on the tile floor and I grabbed onto the closest thing near me. Neil's arm shot out and stabled me just as I reached out. I looed up in horror as he held me. I came to my senses and ran, bumping into Neil's shoulder in my frantic escape.

My shoes squeaked embarrassingly as I ran down the hall. I felt like a lab rat in one of those mazes that raced to the finish to get sweet sweet freedom. As I ran, kids, teachers, and staff all turned to watch me race down the hall. I was told to stop and explain myself for running but I didn't. I couldn't face anyone. Some students looked at me with sympathy, while most just giggled behind their hands. Diane Messing ran into me and screamed at the sight of my pants.

“DISGUSTING!” She screamed wiping her hands off as I apologized even though she hadn't got anything on her.

I HAD to get out of this place. I left Diane to her hissy-fit and ran once again. I could feel the narrow hall becoming thinner and thinner as I could see the light of the doors at the end. My chest grew tight as the walls closed in around me and I almost let out a strangled scream. I could feel my sobs building in my chest and throat, begging me to stop and break down crying. My legs screamed in pain as I strained them. I seen the clear doors at the end of the hallway with the sunlight streaming through. Right now, they looked like heaven. The football bleachers were just yards from the door that would provide prefect isolation. I began to sprint until I crashed through the doors, the cool air hitting my face. I let the tears fall from my eyes now, feeling the release of emotions and sickness. I didn't stop running until I had reached the farthest set of bleachers from the school. I threw myself into the shade and safety of the massive seats.

I laid on the cool grass listening to my echoing sobs. Why me? Why couldn't I just be normal for once? I pulled myself together enough to stop letting out painful yelps as I cried. I felt numb as I rolled over onto my back. The grass I was laying on scratched against my pale skin. I stared up through the slats of the bleachers, watching dust dance between the beautiful beams of light. I closed my eyes and began to think of a plan. Thank god this happened on a day when my mother was picking me up! I would just wait here while my pants dried, and until school let out. I could then risk running to my mom's car out front. I tried to even my breathing, calm myself down. I ran my fingers through my sweaty hair. God why was this episode so bad today? I closed my eyes tight making colorful specks form behind my eyelids

I could hear as the birds and the squirrels chatted in the nearest tree. The leaves rustled in the light breeze, the creak and moan of old limbs as they too bobbed from the wind. Suddenly there was something apart from nature, unfamiliar, I could hear footsteps. They were muffled by grass, but I could hear them getting closer. I scrunched up my eyes closed hoping the passerby wouldn't notice me. Dear God, please keep me hidden.

I heard the footsteps turn from muffled grass steps to the clang and creaks of someone walking on the bleachers above me. They grew closer and closer, and soon they stopped right on top of me.

I slowly opened my eyes. There were feet, right in front of my face on the lowest row.

The feet stopped and someone sat down exactly above me. The bench moaned under the weight and there was a soft exhale as if they were waiting for something. The feet definitely belonged to a boy, for they were too large to be any girl's. They wore fancy athletic shoes that some of the athletes wore for the gym and practices. They began to tap against the metal making soft clangs. I bit my lip trying to muffle the sounds of my hard breathing.

Then something made of gray cloth fell through the crack of the bleachers above me and landed on top of my head. I instantly swatted at it as a reflex and they landed in the grass beside me.

I sat up slowly and hoped I wouldn't make a sound. I rubbed the tears from my eyes expecting the boy to turn and reach for the piece of clothing, but he didn't.

I unfolded the thick cloth and discovered they were sweatpants with my high school's logo and name down the leg. I was stunned at the sight. This boy was a football player! He had to be! He owned the pants that were only issued to varsity players. I stared at them in my hands and shook my head confused. Why in the world was someone out here in the middle of the day with sweatpants?

“You can keep them.” The feet's owner said. I jumped at the sound of his voice.

“Keep them?” I stuttered.

“Yep. I also have the keys to the athletic bathroom so you won't have to change inside, and I have my car keys so I can drive you home.” The boy said. His voice was very familiar. I felt my throat tighten in surprise and gratefulness.

“Really?” I whispered. The feet lifted up off the bleachers and swung up, as his head popped out from under his seat. I looked over into his eyes and was stunned. I wiped away my tear stained face and looked at him smiling small.

“Really,” He said, his brown hair standing on end, and his face flushed from handing upside down. 'Well, I'd asked for him to notice me all year, and guess what... he did!' I thought wryly. “People can be so mean. I'm sorry about what happened.” He said frowning slightly. The crease of sympathy was back on his forehead.

“Neil, it's fine. You would think I'd get used to the laughter after it happens.” I whispered twisting the sweatpant legs in my hands. Neil's eyebrows rose. I shrugged and sniffed brushing my hair from my eyes.

“Get used to the laughter?! You shouldn't have to! People shouldn't laugh! It's not something people should joke about! You could have gotten seriously hurt.” Neil said repulsed.

“They don't care! We're in high school! Other people's misfortunes and embarrassment are the drugs and entertainment of teenagers. They could care less about me or my feelings.” I muttered miserably. We both stayed silent until Neil spoke.

“Does this happen often?” Neil asked, his face getting redder by the minute from hanging upside down. I smiled small and shrugged.

“Yeah,” I sighed, “Mostly on days when I forget to take my medicines or I don't eat enough salt to keep my blood pressure up.” I whispered looking down at my wet jeans annoyed.

“Oh,” Neil whispered then added, “Let's get you cleaned up, then my car is parked right beside the bathrooms. I'll take you home.” He said smiling helpfully.

“Thanks, but you know you don't have to do all this for me. I don't want you getting into trouble for skipping class.” I said getting up from the ground. My body left an imprint in the grass making me smile a little.

Neil met me at the end of the bleachers, black and orange duffel bag hanging off his shoulder.

“Na, I was going to skip anyway. Mrs. Roomer was going to give one of her 30 page speeches about the uses of the word power. Power is your friend!” He said and pumped his fist into the air. He laughed as I smiled up at him. He seemed pleased with himself that he got me to smile. Mrs. Roomer was the psychology teacher, and every week she gave a speech on a strong life changing word that made everyone fall asleep. I don't know how those speeches were included in our psychology topics, but most people think she just loved the sound of herself talking endlessly.

“Power?” I laughed timidly.

“She's crazy!” Neil laughed. He looked over at me and shrugged his muscular shoulders.

“It's a bit... ironic don't you think? She teaches psychology, but she's as mad as a hatter?” I laughed as we walked side by side to the athletic bathrooms near the empty concession stand. Neil laughed and put his hands in his Letterman’s jacket pockets.

“Actually I never thought about it. She really is!” He said smiling.

We had reached the bathroom and Neil sat outside the door on a wooden bench.

“I'll be right back.” I said walking into the cold bathroom. I examined the concrete room for the best spot to change and seen the child diaper station. I pulled on the cord and the table came down letting me put the sweatpants on the corner to free my hands. I peeled off my wet jeans grimacing at myself in the mirror. My mascara had run in large dark streaks down the side of my face. My light lipstick was smudged on my cheek and nose, and I had a grass imprint on the left side of my face. I looked lovely!

I quickly used towels to dry myself off, and then damp ones to clean my legs. I balled the pants up and tossed them aside. I slid Neil's sweatpants on, rolling the ends up four times so I wouldn't trip over them. I ran my fingers through my tangled hair, wiped away the running mascara, and fixed my lipstick before leaving the bathroom. I come out of my door and Neil stood.

“Thank you again, I don't know how to tell you how much this means to me. No one has ever done this before. I usually just stay under the bleachers until my mom gets here at four.”

“Uh, it's really no problem!” he paused, “Can I ask why the bleachers and not the office or just calling your mom to pick you up?” He asked.

“Because, I don't like to tell my mom I fainted again. She'd just yell at me for forgetting my meds again. I mean she'll obviously find out when the school calls, but by then she's usually relaxed. It's easier that way. If I called her now in the middle of work she'd have to leave. Leaving would mean she'd get in trouble. Her boss is kinda an a*s so he's not real fun when he's pissed. It makes something not really a huge deal in to a major deal. She's more likely to kill me if I call her now then if I just not tell her.” I laughed and rolling my eyes as he led me to his truck.

He walked me to the passenger side, and opened the door. I had to hold his arm to get up into the large truck cab. The truck was huge! It was a beautiful black diesel engine truck. It had an extended cab and a lift kit on it so it sat high off the ground. He smiled at me as he shut the door and ran around to the drivers side. He swung the door open and practically jumped in.

He started the truck and put his seat belt on before turning to look out the back window to back up. He had turned his body in his seat and put his arm on the back of my seat, which momentarily brushed against my shoulder. He began to back up the truck, He pulled out into the lane and began to exit the parking lot. I watched the houses pass as we made our way downtown. Neil coughed making the awkward silence, even more awkward.

He reached out and turned the radio on. He hummed along to the music and I bit my tongue so I didn't sing along like I normally do. He glanced over at me and we made eye contact and we both looked away nervously. The radio went to a commercial and the cab began to feel a bit small. I tapped my nervous fingertips on my knees.

“So...” I started softly, but lost my confidence once he looked over at me. “How's football?” I blurted out loudly like a fool; however, I had hit the bulls-eye. The only thing guys liked to talk about more than themselves is the sports they play.

“Pretty good, we actually have a good team this year. We might actually win a game finally.” He relived and eased back into his seat now that the silence had been broken.

Our football team is awful. When we do score, it's usually at the other team's end zone, if that gives you any clue as to how horrible they are. It's been ten years since the varsity team had won a game. We got close to winning last year but Erik Borough accidentally tripped Francis James who was running for the last minute touchdown.

“Wow, that's surprising! Must be the new captain, opening a can of whoop-a*s on the defense line.” I said smiling. Neil was the team captain, the only guy on the team that actually knows what he's doing on a football field. Neil was the best player we had, and he was good. Without him we wouldn't have ever scored one touchdown last year. Now that Neil was team captain he was rounding up the football players on the weekends and having mini games down at the park for more practice. He's even been working with a couple of the guys one on one to get them prepared for this season. It was beginning to look like we actually had a chance!

“You bet! They need it! Coach Cramer's a nice guy and all, but face it, he's proof that just because you watch football every Sunday, doesn't mean you know what the hell you're doing as a coach!” Neil said shaking his head. I laughed out loud because Neil was right about Coach Cramer. He acted like he was Joe Paterno, when in reality, he should be coaching any team, including pee wee football! Coach Cramer had been on the team in high school that got us to the championships. After he graduated he started coaching and we never won another game again. It was only fair to say that he never really had much experience since he never actually played in a game... he was basically the water boy.

“I think you should pull Norman out of offense, he has a good arm but he's slow. He's be a perfect lineman on the defense. He's built like a house and would stand up perfectly up against the Hornets Offense next game.” I said. Neil looked over at me like I was an alien. His eyes searched my face until a small crooked grin formed on his lips. I sighed, “I have three brothers, ask me anything about baseball, football, hockey, NASCAR, and some soccer and chances are I know about it.” As Neil smiled over at me I laughed.

“I can't believe it! A girl knows more about football then Cramer! What's the world coming to?” Neil asked laughing.

“I don't know everything, but I do know some.”

“Do you mind if we pull off to get something to eat? I haven't ate since this morning.” He said.

“No problem! I'm not in any hurry.” I replied as he pulled into the small diner on the edge of town.

“Want anything? My treat!” He asked.

“Um, a milkshake?”

“You got it! Vanilla right? I know you hate chocolate.” He said.

“Yeah,” I nodded. His door slammed and I watched in shock as he casually walked inside.

He knew I hated chocolate?