Faith's Lullaby

I drag myself out that bed

In hopes that one day this could all end

'Cause I just don't see how this could all mend

Maybe if someone had a shoulder they could lend?

I don't know how far this world thinks that I can bend

But even when I stand back up strong

The wind tends to prolong

My knees fall right back down

My crown hits the ground!

Save me! I'm drownin' now!

Maybe it's over, wow!

Now, can I finally take a bow?

I'm done with this! Ouch! 

I wake up to find myself

Layin', slunched over on the couch

And I just flutter my eyes because

I'm just trynna figure out how I'm actually alive

Damn it! What a f*****g surprise

Doesn't God hear my cries?

Shut your mouth, don't try to emphathize or optimize

Let's be real, how the hell did I survive?

I had a plan that I would end it all by suicide

It's called a f*****g goodbye

Hell no, I ain't scared

But right now, I guess my soul just ain't ready to collide 

With the fact that I gave myself up, just like a sacrifice

Did you know that on the inside, I am deprived

I can't even begin to describe the disguise I wear 

That you can't see from the outside

And still, I continue to abide and compromise for you and your allies

Did I hit the bullseye?

I don't need your advice

I think I can decide if I wan to see the sunrise

I will not apologize and this I will testify

My internal drive has taken a dive and I ain't even 25.

These are my lullabies.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Most of us know struggle. I never thought to do suicide. I lost two brothers to suicide when I was young.. I was a runner. I would leave countries and states. Begin again. I could feel the need to know peace and sanity in the words. Thank you Faith for sharing your words and thoughts.. I do appreciate.
Coyote

[Faith Knoll]

Thank you, Coyote! And I'm deeply sorry for your loss... however, something I learned during the time I wrote this poem is that for writers, pain is your gift!

[Coyote Poetry]

Pain is a gift. Maybe not a good one. You are welcome Faith.

[barleygirl]

Very well done. I like the way you use repetitive rhymes & the rhyming words are sophisticated not simple rhymes -- this takes much skill & a love of vocabulary. You've used just enuf rhyme to keep this like a snappy upbeat message, yet your sentiments are deeply conveyed with the realistic pain of feeling s****y. You've used just enuf profanity to give your message "zing" without going overboard & making it sound vulgar. All in all a very well-balanced way to show how this nasty feeling feels.

[Madison Boggs]

I love the story you tell in this

[Faith Knoll]

Thank you!