Happiness Today

Self reflection

Happiness is overstated.

In a tech-based world, today we sit at a corner in our rooms and know what our friends are doing all the way across the world. We may also be able to see cheeky photos and fun filled activities of their family members: people who we may have never met. Yet, we “react” to those photos with love and wows and anger and so on. Same happens vice versa. Family and friends who we have not been able to talk to for what may seem like ages now, send very expressive and on-the-spot digitized messages to share their emotions. Once in a while, on some happy moments we receive messages and greetings. Happy and happening photos and updates never fail to grab attention. Life changing events like getting a new job in Big somewhere, moving to a new country or city, getting into a good university, getting married, or buying a new dog: all sells hot!

What is to ponder upon is that, while hitting a wow on someone’s photo, is the person actually feeling wowed? The person may have had a really tough day at work. Her boss was acting hormonal and made her go through the rough roads. She missed her lunch. Her mom was calling her but she did not have the respite to answer it. Her cousins were messaging on social messenger while planning another cousin’s bridal shower but she did not have the luxury of following up. Her long time crush at work hooked up with a new girl at work. Heartbreak. On top of all these, her energy was eaten with hours of traffic on her way back home. She returned home, dead tired, with no feeling even to feed her growling stomach. All she could manage to do, was to freshen up and fall back on her couch with her smart phone in hand. That is a fad, whatsoever. Smart devices all the time. Within a few seconds of browsing, she came across a photo of her friend having dinner in a cozy rooftop restaurant with some other folks who she did not recognize. Her friend, looking nice under bright light in silky satin attire, with a fine touch of make-up, and signature neckpiece, possibly jade. Such visual demonstration needlessly calls for a wow, particularly from an old mate. Doesn’t matter when was the last time they had met in person, but they are updated about each other’s activities through social media all the time. Thus, the reaction.

On the other side, the person in a beautiful silky satin dress and jade and Mac: does her picture with a smile on her really say what she was exactly going through? Her morning started with a nasty fight with her husband. Apparently they have not been on talking terms all day. These are sequels of everyday fights which they have been having for months now. But nonetheless, till date it has never reached social media(!). On top of that, she has been feeling weak from menstruation. Her body is acting weird. Her kitchen came down in a mess because her house-help decided not to show up out of the blue. Her sister called and kept on insisting to join them for a mutual friend’s farewell. She has been trying to get in touch with her husband to ask him to pick the kids from school but he seems to be unavailable. Thus, she got herself to do the job. At such times, uncountable disturbing thoughts loiter on the surface of her mind: is her husband cheating on her? Is he planning a divorce? Is he hiding something? Was the whole love affair a mistake? Nonetheless, at the end of the day her husband comes home and they somewhat come into the consensus to attend the farewell dinner. Having said so, the best way to hide the day's misery and the excruciating inner pain was the signature satin dress and everything else to go with it. Not to mention a smile, a the biggest façade.

Now, neither did her misery reach the social media nor did the frustration of her friend’s. Yet, looking at her smiling photo her friend reacted with a virtual wow.

The point remains that how can a person honestly feel wowed simply by a visual demonstration of a friend’s picture perfect evening?  How can someone after such a demanding day possibly wow at someone else’s classy amusement? How can a negative feeling not strike even subconsciously? How can her own gloominess not hit her more fiercely? How can she savor her cold pre-cooked spaghetti, the only food she had managed to prepare while virtually witnessing the exquisite rooftop dinner?

Even for what lies on the other side of the picture: who would be kind enough to actually know what that fellow had endured all day, or for days? Who would genuinely have her back and understand the real melancholy rather than the showy cheerfulness? Who would come and lovingly hug her and listen to her and not just hit a wow or love on her photo? Who would not believe the lie on the “newsfeed” and want to know the real story?  

I suppose these are tough questions to answer when we believe by heart and soul that, "The world is a stage."

Happiness is overstated. Misunderstood. And, judged.

Reviews

[Unknown Poet]

Each and every line is so true ,
We are so getting addicted to smart gadgets and social media sites,
And thus getting complicated too , we do not have time to spend with the people we really care , even I have enough time to meet but we waste whole spending in Fb /Whatsapp and other sites

Thank you for sharing

[Fahmida Mehreen]

Thank you for the review.

[Unknown Poet]

My Pleasure *Smiles*

[Wajiha Nayeem]

wonderful...
i loved each line...so nicely penned..keep it up.

[Fahmida Mehreen]

Thank you Wajiha. Appreciate your feedback.

[Bala Gorthi]

I appreciate what you have presented here. I endorse your observation.
But I feel only we choose what we do and whatever we do.. I personally feel people do not act consciously all the time. They just follow the current, the trend just to be in the fray or may be things become habits or addictions. These days everyone is after quantity and numbers. Number of likes, hits, reviews, comments etc, are important and so quality and genuineness take a back seat here.
You have brought an authentic observation in your write here. It is a very good piece beginning with the line "happiness overstated ". The sad reality of today's world is we go about everything but no self reflection on anything. I appreciate what you are trying to say under this self reflection. It is a good thought provoking write.
Thank you for writing and sharing such work. Keep sharing more, Fahmida!

[Fahmida Mehreen]

Thank you for understanding and appreciating my viewpoint. You see, I do presume that lot of people will disagree to this. But, I suppose it varies from person to person. These days, we are all more virtually active than in real form! That includes me too, no denying. The level of communication depends on the type of bond that people share and what they preserve inside for one another. For a friend who may live in a different country but at least everyday, or every once in a while, we drop a "hi" and a few messages, that person giving a reaction, a like, a comment on anything of mine can be assumed to be more genuine because s/he has known my good and bad days too closely. For others, what I put up on social media is just a visual demonstration. That is all I wanted to say.

Thank you, once again.

[Ardra]

Its as usual very nicely done fahmida... i appreciate as writer the way you analyse small things in life and write so beautifully about them..
in this modern age....we will surely not know what other one feels at the end of the smart device.. just the words and emotions we want others to feel... it has become so easy to hide behind these walls isnt it.. and that makes life more misserable that even our loved ones are not aware of the situations we are in...nor are we about theirs..

at this rate world is going to be a real lonely place :) with all people hooked to their own devices..

thanks for sharing the beautiful thought process .. i enjoyed reading it ..in between my office time :P

[Fahmida Mehreen]

Thank you for dropping such a constructive review, Galadriel. No wonder with how people are living their lives the level of depression, divorce, even suicide is shooting up. People are becoming smart. But to some extent lonely too. These devices and applications definitely make so many things easier for us. Easy communication, saving time, etc. But on one side it bringing people closer and on the other side it is drawing people apart. That is sad.

Thank you for taking out your time to read this. :)

[Ardra]

very true fahmida ... Earth is turning into a lonley planet :P we should explore other planets now ;)

[Fahmida Mehreen]

Hahaha good idea. :')