The
heart, the breath;
Invaded by an intoxicating soul.
Now, what? Just come to think of it:
What if this throbbing heart, reflecting the irresistible sensation like a
fragile mirror, breaks apart?
What if this exhilarating breath, flying like a Pegasus, drops dead?
The sunshine days, the starlit nights;
Imprisoned by an intoxicating soul.
It is you. You.
Such depth and eloquence in this piece. As flesh and blood we constantly battle our soul; Life is but a breath and soon will die while the soul lives forever.................
Very-well written. Good similes- like a fragile mirror, flying like a Pegasus. And pretty fine use of alliteration. And, good repetition- intoxicating soul. Everything that you have penned down captured my imagination and I could witness everything happening in front of me- similes induce imagery. Keep writing.
Your philosophy of being imprisoned in your beliefs and mirrors that reflects its world on you. I felt deep genuine discerning appeals to the bridge between subconscious and conscious mind. The places in searching will bring heartbreaks and some will leave scars and some will open conciliatory permanent- solitude paradise with your soul pulling on your sleeve to join in complete bliss of finding you and only you in this universe. To realize in the end that you are the universe because it resides in you. Look closely and you will find everything you need. Keep writing and enjoyable read.
It is crazy how one person can invade your senses, your thoughts, your heart without knowing or trying. They consume you to the point it feels intoxicating or insanity. It can be fleeting and disappear or it can deepen and set roots, you have written of this nicely. I enjoyed.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thanks April! Your appreciation is valuable.
Indeed, how easily one can seep into our hearts.. read moreThanks April! Your appreciation is valuable.
Indeed, how easily one can seep into our hearts without even knowing what that existence may end up being.
The display of words is compelling, makes this reader want and need to read and read. Whilst you write in free verse there's a musical tone, reminds me of ancient writings. But, over all you've captured both the wonderment and bewilderment of loving someone almost too deeply., Can something be so real, so lasting? Shall I, should I? Seems you believe you should!
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Let the heart speak only.
And leave the rest on chances, choices, and reality. :) read moreLet the heart speak only.
And leave the rest on chances, choices, and reality. :)
Thank you for your appreciation. Means a lot.
8 Years Ago
I felt as i read .. then worded reaction; that's all the spirit can do when beckoned.
You create such a stunning rhythm to your soul's longing words. There are the questions, the fears, the struggles with decision, and yet somehow you know this beautiful awakening is so impossible to simply walk away from.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Much thanks for your appreciation and encouragement, Froman.
As you said: walking away is a.. read moreMuch thanks for your appreciation and encouragement, Froman.
As you said: walking away is a decision that we may take but we also may have to end up paying a high price for that. There comes certain turns when when you cannot make a straight call - to stay or to walk away.That's what I call the real Bermuda Triangle. Lost forever.
8 Years Ago
I have wandered that winding path too often. May there always come a light to guide the way out for .. read moreI have wandered that winding path too often. May there always come a light to guide the way out for those who find themselves lost.
Keep on chasing dreams you aspiring writer, you. While it's not an entirely new exploration of love (it's hard to do that these days), the important thing is you've got the voice and the tone down. The emotion feels real. Also, I like your usage of punctuation. You've got the technical skills, and I like that you do. You know the rules, and I'll keep reading to see if you break them anywhere for a purpose in other writes. Content-wise, this is rather direct. Your world invaded by another. Intoxicating is a nice word. I almost envision them as being a drug or a drink of alcohol invading your body and affecting all of your functions. Bodily, mental, all of it. That's a lot of what love is, isn't it? There's that double sided coin of love. Exhilaration and a heart throbbing with happiness, and of course the possibility of being broken and dead inside. Imprisoned by your feelings for that significant other. It's them, it's them that does this to you. To us.
Why did you choose Pegasus? I'm genuinely curious about your choice for using Pegasus as the symbol of your exhilarated and fluttering (flying) breaths.
Posted 8 Years Ago
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
8 Years Ago
Pegasus: it's a mythological existence. Yet, we imagine very high of it. Pegasus here, because till .. read morePegasus: it's a mythological existence. Yet, we imagine very high of it. Pegasus here, because till the poison of agony soaked in, my living, critically symbolized by exhilaration of breath, was as amazing as that of a white Pegasus.
Thank you very much for your constructive feedback.
Well Fahmida, the sensations die their own death. But to be destroyed by love is so so painful, yet desirable. The poem catches the right moments and emotions of a heart feeling so deeply.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank you for taking out your valuable time and appreciating the little piece of mine. Means a lot. .. read moreThank you for taking out your valuable time and appreciating the little piece of mine. Means a lot. :)