What I wish you knew

A Poem by Fading-to-Gray

curled in the blankets
hiding herself from the world
she was only seven years old
already her heart was far to heavy
with things she'd yet to understand
her big sister was crying in her bed
told her not to listen to the words he'd said
but still his voice rang in her ears
and the sadness on her sisters face just wouldn't leave
in the quiet all she was
was a little girl angry with her daddy

in the quiet woods
she tried so hard to catch her breath
just twelve years old
and drowning in it all
because now she understands
like a ghost she observes everything
and though rarely aimed at her
his words still tear her heart
and the sadness on her mothers face never leaves
and in the quiet all she was
was a little girl angry with her daddy

she layed in her bed on the phone
with the boy who's voice made it feel like a home
she was sixteen now
things had looked up
her father swore that he was better
but she'd found the empty bottle
hidden behind his pillow
she couldn't find words to express
the hopelessness that filled her
and the anger never left her brothers face
and in the quiet all she was
was a little girl angry with her daddy

The house was so silent
All the sirens had faded
You knew what you were doing
Could you feel your body growing sick?
You cannot lie to me daddy
Because i stood there
You thought you were dying
i stood beside you at your request
You know what you did
And that image will never leave my head
i'm only eighteen
and the weigh of the world
has been resting on me for so long now
and still in the quiet all i am
is a little girl, broken by her daddy
so how dare you come home to be angry with me?
how dare you make excuses
how could you not change?
you asked me to write you a story
i'm sure its not what you thought it'd be
A story about how you cared more for what was in the bottle
than you ever did me.