Into the World, The Quest...

The figure in the mirror looks back at hir, it's hir but sie feels detached from the figure, sie stairs at the face and asked the image who they are. But it's a reflection of hirself, it cannot answer and sie doesn't have the answer hirself, all sie has is what sie sees. Long hair cascades down hir back, mostly black with streaks of purple and blue on the left hand side. It's not really hir hair, but sie wears it as if it is, hir hair is short and acceptable in this world, sie has to be able to fit in but also likes to be able to stand out. Today sie can be hirself so sie dresses appropriately.

As sie dons hir underwear sie contemplates hir figure, sie is slim and light, sie is built for speed not brute strength, but not everything is as it seams. Sie remembers a passing comment said about hir, nothing up top but nothing down below either. The duality of hir and hir nature makes hir smile, sie finds it ironic. From behind hir long hair, figure and general posture always turns the heads of the men who don't know of hir, but the other hair when they fact hir keeps them guessing. Sie also has a way with the ladies, hir manner and style keep them interested, but sie can never do anything with them. Sie doesn't want to, sie plays the game as far as sie wants, but it never goes further than sie wants.

Sie wraps a band around each wrist, then picks throwing spikes and knives off their rack and tucks them into the pockets of the bands. Hir waist band follows, with it's two axes and four longer knives, on hir back goes hir slim pack with it's swords. Sie looks at hirself in the mirror and giggles, there sie stands in hir underwear, carefully attaching the tools of hir trade. Sie worries at times that some may find this attractive, but then remembers hir duality and that no one really notices hir past a glance.

Sie pulls a deep purple shirt over hir head and then laces up the neck, sie struggles with the lace but manages it somehow. Black trousers that buckle to the right and soft, comfortable shoes complete hir basics. Sie feels more complete now, sie really can stand being undressed, sie's always conscious of who and what sie is.

Hir long black coat is thrown over hir shoulders, sie checks it lining for the two cross bows that sie knows are there, and then fastens it, buckling to the left. Sie checks the hat band of hir black leather hat for it's cheese wire before it is places on hir head, then slips hir thin leather gloves over hir fingers.

Sie's ready to face the world, whatever it decides to throw at hir today. Hir sleek iron horse is waiting for hir, a masterpiece in chrome and black, with purple highlights. Sie kicks it to life, maybe today will be the day sie finds the answers sie's looking for, maybe today will be the day sie finds what's been taken from hir for so long.

Hir life has become a quest, it is a long one that take hir far from hir home lands in the moor lands of the North, sie denies it's exsistance to all but a few, and even they have never seen it. Hir home matches hir in so many ways, it's new but ages old at the same time, there's a lot more to it than you can see. Sie cannot normally live here, hir quest takes hir to the roads, where sie lives in hir wagon, traveling the roads looking for answers to the questions sie has. Sie would love to return there and live the simple life but that isn't possible anymore. Sie cannot survive on the simple life, at least not yet, and there is hir quest.

Hir true home moves with hir, sie like the rest of hir kind live by the words 'we fold our tents silently in the night', one day sie'll just vanish leaving behind nothing but a memory of the few who thought they know hir. Sie has come to accept this, it's hard but it's the way hir life is, sie tells the people sie meets the same stories. These are safe stories, the real tales to difficult to tell, so sie sticks to the stories sie knows people will accept without question. But the few that will question are either those who are also like hir and do not know it, or are those who have met hir kind before. The ones that are out there looking for what is missing, and trying to find the answers or even the questions.

Like all those who have opened the box sie wishes with all hir heart that sie never had or that sie could close it again and just forget about it. But that is not possible once the box is open it's too late and sie is part of the quest. The quest is more of a constant nagging the feeling that something doesn't fit, that there must be a reason an answer. But the quest is long, the quest has comsumed many people.

The quest does not quite comsume hir, sie still manages to hold some for of life outside of the search. But it seams hollow, people know hir, but not who sie truelly is, so sie can never relax around them. Sie always has a front up, sie is always careful to be the person they know, sie cannot be who sie truelly is around them. The only time sie can truelly be hirself is when sies with others also on their own quest for answers or on the road where no one knows hir and sie doesn't have to pretend to someone sie knows sie's not. Sie knows this isn't a way to live, but the alternative is to let the quest comsume hir, and sie doesn't want to become like that. Sie'd rather live a half life, always pertending to be someone else than let the quest comsume hir. There sie can push the quest away and pretend that sie's normal, but sie can never truelly forget the quest.

Hir life is a jigsaw, but it's been taken to pieces and scattered, some pieces have been lost never to be seen again, but if sie can find the surounding pieces sie might be able to work out what's missing. Sie hopes that one day sie can end this quest, that sie'll have enough pieces of the puzzle to be happy. But for now sie travels the road. What sie seeks is answers, but these are answers to questions sie does not know, the people with the answers also know the questions, but they remain forever in the shadows.

The road is a long one, sie knows this but sie also knows that sie can never just give up, it's a dream sie has sometimes, to be normal, to fit into the world. But always remembers that it's a dream, the times sie has forgotten that the world has come crashing down around hir, so now sie doesn't ever let hirself forget it. There is no end in sight, sie knows people who've been travelling this road for longer than sie has, and there's no end in sight for them either. They are the few on the outside, they look at the world differently, and they all know in their heart of hearts it's forever.