My first draft

How odd is it to get banished from the society just for the fact that you’re slightly different than others?

First of all, I have to admit that living in such a society is quite challenging, I was subjected to awful misjudgments at home, school… EVERYWHERE. Fruitlessly, I’ve tried to blend in the groups and act like a normal person, even though “normal” is just an illusion, but according to the norms of this population, I can define fitting in it implicates, squeezing my mind so it can be akin to their restricted minds, and skewed perspectives, obstructing my abilities and potentials to become a clone of them. Practically, I was living heads- in- the clouds every day; it has been an ordeal which I had to go through since birth. But sometimes I ask myself: Am I surrounded with an aura that sends a repulsive vibes to everyone?

In my younger and more vulnerable years, I remember how I loved to be alone. It was such a pleasure to hear my thoughts in peace. But I’ve always been interrupted by the famous cliché saying: “You’re a very calm and obedient young lady”. What an erroneous judgment! Isn’t it peculiar to assess a person’s character from their looks or attitude? Perhaps, it reveals the superficiality of these people’s thinking. I’m still wondering why I have always hid the rebellion in me for such a long time. I was too mature for my age at that time, I used to observe people’s reactions and interpret any tiny pulse that awakes my senses. How strange not to know myself well. I only discovered some of my potentials lately. Things I didn’t know I was capable of doing. Although, because of the enigmatic quality of my mind and the profound genuine wisdom of my soul, I could survive the trial I had to endure every single day.

Suddenly, an owl appeared on my window pane, she kept making an assortment of sounds that interrupted the series of the melancholic remembrances. Somehow the sounds of the nocturnal animals outside and the groaning of the wind have made a suitable symphony for this blustery weather and my dull mood swings. Slowly the outside world commenced  to invades my senses, then I noticed that the sun has started to rise; I gradually realized that I have stayed forty-eight hours awake, drank five coffees” Great, as usual, you’ve disturbed your biological hour, how in the heaven will you restore the order? You need to control your time, remember, you have final exams to cram for. ” . As much as I wanted to persist scolding myself but then I recalled that it’s my birthday today, I think I deserve a break.

Author's Note

I've written this in just 20 minutes, then I thought of starting a novel... Can you please give me your opinion about it? is it a good start for a novel?

Reviews

[JaimeLorie]

You write very well for English not being your first language. I like the way that you use the words, it reads well. You have a lot to work on if you plan on making a novel. You may want to study about paragraphs a bit. You're mind was moving at a rapid pace when you wrote this, so the content is scattered. I want you to know that every sentence that you wrote could be built upon to make a paragraph. I even saw evidence of some of the sentences having the ability to become whole chapters. For instance, your first sentence; How odd is it to get banished from the society just for the fact that you’re slightly different than others?
This one sentence should be built around to make a whole chapter. The idea is to answer that question in great detail. It is information that many would like to know about. You hold the answers to that question in your mind, let them out, one at a time. Detail is the key to great writing. I don't care if all you are writing about is the life of a tiny ant, tell the reader everything there is to know about that ant and why you think it does the things that it does. I hope you keep writing you seem to have a gifted mind.

[shasha]

Your writing is good and I think this is going to be a nice story. But personally I don't think this is a good starter for a story. Maybe a scene with her in the public with judging eyes of people would do. Show how she struggling to deal with the people. Show how slightly different she is from others.

Overall, I like this draft.

*This is only my opinion. You don't have to change this if you don't like it. :)