Autobiography

I WROTE THIS SOME YEARS AGO, SO IT'S NOT UP TO DATE ON MY LIFE.

 

I began in the usual way,

then came learning to crawl

and walking.

Suddenly, I was old enough

to ride in a wagon

and I was Annie Oakley,

as I said, "Hands up, Mister!"

 

As my world grew larger,

I was building forts, burying treasure

and hunting for spiders and snakes.

I was pretty good at baseball,

kickball and tether ball, too,

and I did okay on roller skates.

 

I'd fish in a neighbor's pond

and bait your hook for you,

I hiked in the mountains

and searched for arrowheads, too.

I rode my bike everywhere

and drove our go-cart to the max,

there wasn't much I wouldn't dare.

 

When I grew up,

one of my favorite things to do,

was taking drives in my car;

to the beach, to hear the waves crashing

and watch the seagulls circle and soar,

to the desert, climbing dunes,

relishing the sun,

to the mountains, smelling nature's sweet perfume

and gazing at spring flowers

and more-

I'd ride my motorcycle on city streets

and in the desert,

how I loved the whoop-de-do's.

 

I played on a woman's softball league;

I was clean-up batter, played first  and third

and I was a first rate catcher.

I was on a bowling league,

team name-Afternoon Delight!

Our main goal was to have fun,

me, Kathy and Sissy Whyte.

 

As for work, one job always led to another,

better hours, better pay.

I raised my kids the best I could,

I tried to pay my way.

Just when I was at a place in life,

I was really glad to be,

just when I could feel secure,

it all came crumbling down upon me.

 

I've gone through some horrid times-

no money, no friends, no home,

with people treating me, as if,

I'd committed heinous crimes. 

I thought being robbed of my trust in others,

was the worst that could happen to me,

but I find there is another,

as pain strips me of my dignity.

 

It robs me of my self-control,

my sense of-this is who I am-

is lost, it's gone to hell.

Once dignity is lost,

it's quite difficult to regain.

It's as if you've been seen naked,

you can never be seen as the same.

 

One goes through life,

thinking, as far as the body goes,

it won't change much from day to day.

Your thoughts never about an injury,

changing your life in a heartbreaking way.

 

Everyday in every way,

I'm losing more of me.

How much more

can a shattered vase break?

 

06/02/03

Reviews

[Mark D. Chevalier]

It was interesting that so much of our poem was dedicated to what came before. Roller skating, bowling with friends, ocean drives, softball...
I suppose that for those of us that have experienced something that takes us apart at the seams, those tend to be the things we cling to. Helping us to get through them because we know that something better is waiting on the other side, even if we're not sure what that something is.
You can be sure of one thing Barbara. You survived, you grew and in the end won the battle. Because you're still here, and a gifted poet to boot!
All the best,
Mark

[justjenn_2u]

I love the vivid imagery of your childhood, your daring spirit, your carefree happiness. The twist of the piece, when your life turns upside down, was pain staking (as your words reflect). Your expression of emotion is clear. The closing question shows how human we really are.

Good job!

[lori c]

barbara, i really like the flow of this piece in the beginning -- and to see that childlike enthusiasm carried over into adulthood was refreshing. so many of us lose that as we age. to take such vivacious memories and then "stab them in the gut" so to speak jolts the reader, just as your oncoming frailty jolted your life. i did enjoy reading this.

[Kaleidoscope Apocalypse]

Wow.. Quite a heartfelt piece. You take your readers on a journey throughout your life in a very captivating way. I think this piece would have made more of an impact if the ending held more weight, more description. However, even without that, this is still quite an amazing piece.

Often times, when people are asked to sum up their lives, they have a very hard time doing so. They may take years to do it, they could take up page upon page upon page, and still not tell everything that they really wanted to. You've taken a life story and explained some key points in a wonderful poem. Nice work!

I especially loved your last lines;

"How much more
can a shattered vase break?"

Keep it up!

[Monners]

I like the way this starts at birth and goes through a lifetime of happenings. It's personal and sincere. Well written and interesting the whole way through.

[~amanda~]

great poem, tons of expression! a really good ending, and captivating beginning. thank you so much for sharing =)

[thecoolone52]

yeah girls cant play sports.......... hahahahaha just playin.................. anyway good story i enjoyed it....... i liked the bowling sissy whyte part.............................. and the sad ending made it good!

[Legion]

All the way to dust. I like this except for the one thing that you didn't mention. What caused the downfall? Would probably make more of an impact or connection if that was mentioned here. Other than that, it was a good write. Made me remininsce (ck sp) as well.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

How we can sum up our lives in such a few words. You took me through a maze of innocence to a place where reality gives a good hard kick in the a*s. This a story well told.

[Pink Poison]

This is so heartbreaking...I love your last lines they sum things up in an utterly perfect way.

How much more
can a shattered vase break?

This poem's power is in its ability to make others realize that you are the same as anyone else, except for your suffering now. I like the way you used an autobiographical format to tell us of your journey through life and how it ended up NOT being the life you dreamt of. It reads very well, although sad. Great job.

[bluessadmood]

this is life you live like its forever ,but its not ,i have to say since i was young i was cautious not to be much ambitious ,i know,its hard its cruel it may surprise you at any time and hits bad and hard ,its never to be taken for granted,its unpredictable,still we are human strength is the thing we have to wear till we die or we are doomed ,so smile and raise your head up high ,or life will still hits even harder she hits weaknesses,i hate her for that ,so beware do not show no tenderness be strong till the last day ,i know,i know...