Out Of Balance

 

All this time,

I've just been going through the motions,

treading water,

just to stay afloat.

Without you,

I can't find the laughter,

life is out of balance

and I can barely cope.

Searching to find you,

that's all I could do,

as long as you were out there,

I still had hope.

I have always loved you,

always will, my Jack.

I need you,

need to be together,

I want you, please,

tell me you want me back.

11/21/07

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

plaintive sadness .. extremely emotive write .. it reads as very personal ..wishing you well ...peace, joy and healing
E.

[Barbara Walker]

Thank you E. Finally was able to do some healing when I found him. Though circumstances prevented our being together I was able to go on. I would have been so stuck otherwise.

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ............

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad and hopeful poem. We hold on to sweet dreams and desires. Sometime if we are lucky. There are second chances. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Barbara Walker]

Thanks Coyote!

[Stephen]

A need to have the one thing back that really matters.

[Maxine]

I can't tell you how amazingly true to real emotion this poem is. It's beautifully and wonderfully written, and you push the yearning and loss across flawlessly. I know exactly what that feels like to lose and yet still hold onto hope, and I adore that you put that into the poem!
I also really loved the line "tell me you want me back" - it is such the hardest part of losing someone like that, the uncertainty that they'll want you back, the racing thoughts of what if he does...but oh what if he doesn't. That's really the true heartbreak

Beautiful and lovely, Ma'am, as always :)

[carol burgess romance]

Lovely write, a tale of loss and yearing

[annabellee]

your poem really touched me, losing somebody is never easy, I can totally relate. Loved it :)

[Craig2591]

"life is out of balance"... the most powerful line in the poem.

[Barbara Walker]

Thank you!

[J. Marc]

A very poignant and human outcry. I love the honesty with which you wrote it altogether. It is still very dignified for it is very sincere. There is no trick in this poem, at least so I sense it.

You did not try to go through all sorts of justification. The love you needed, the person you are missing. Period.

This kind of exercise we find a lot in this forum for we all have been "out of balance" at least once in our lives. A manageable situation and yet a situation that can enrich our sentimental journey if not simply our humanity: the way we look at ourselves (our needs, the important things to us) and at the others. Indeed, other people will certainly find in your words the revival of past hurts. This does not remove anything from the beauty of your lines!

Thank you so much for sharing this delicate moment with us.