Going Into Junior High or I Hate Bras and I Won't Wear One!

One girl's experience of life before Junior High and during the first year of Junior High Circa 1966

I had a good time in sixth grade. It was my last year of elementary school. I felt comfortable with who I was. 

I hung around with Larry and Glen and a few other boys. We always played some sort of ballgame at recess.

No one ever teased me about being a tomboy. In fact, this was the year that I stuck up for a boy in our class. He was constantly teased by a lot of kids. I could tell Steve was trying to let it roll off his back, but his feelings were obviously hurt. He was a little pudgy and not very athletic. Each of those characteristics alone would probably have kept him safe from teasing, but the two together was too much for eleven and twelve year olds to let pass. One day, I was just sick of hearing it. It was so stupid and unkind. I did the unthinkable. As the teasing was going on, I yelled, "That's enough!"

All eyes were upon  me. I think they were speechless. The idea that another kid would correct them, was unheard of in our school. I looked at each of them, as I said, "If anybody messes with him, again, you'll have to go through me!"

Nobody said a word. They drifted off in different directions. Being a tomboy and having a reputation of not backing down from a fight had its benefits.

They didn't bother him anymore, but now, I had a problem. Steve looked at me with admiration and I think a bit of puppy love. From then on, he was continually asking me to come over to his house. I kept putting him off, as long as I could. Finally, one day, I said okay.

He showed me around his house and showed his model airplanes to me. After that, the silence was deafening. I looked everywhere, except at Steve. I racked my brain, trying to think of something to say..."Oh, so do you have any brothers or sisters?" I asked. 

"An older sister," he replied.

More silence. We just didn't have anything in common. 

"Well, Steve, I gotta' go. My Mom needs me at home."

 I got out of there, as quickly as I could. It just felt weird.

When sixth grade was over, I looked forward to a summer of fun. I, still, had not acquired the girlish propensity for wanting to style my hair. I laughed at my sisters, as they would act like they were models, walking around the house with books balanced on their heads. They talked of all these things I just wasn't interested in; movie stars, hair styles, clothes, etc.

That was the summer that I built my own miniature golf course in our backyard. I dug holes, putting soup cans into the holes, so that the ball would make a "plink" sound, when the ball went in the cup. My Dad had given me a few of his old clubs. I would be out there for hours, practicing my golf stroke. I got pretty good and even began to wonder if they had any golfing in junior high.

When it came time for school clothes shopping, everyone was making a big deal about junior high. There was talk from my Mom about buying nylons and a bit of make-up. My twin sister, Sue, was in her element. I, on the other hand, was totally lost. I didn't know how to apply make-up. I didn't know how to fix my hair in different, changing styles. Everything was changing and I didn't want it to change!

Time was marching on without me.

I was looking forward to seeing the old gang on the first day of seventh grade. There would be a lot of kids that I didn't know, too. Our junior high was fed by six elementary schools.

Little did I know how much the dynamics had changed over the summer. I felt like there was a secret that everyone was privy to, except me.

When I got to school, all the girls were hanging out on one side of the field, while all the boys were on the other side of the field. There seemed to be an imaginary line, that wasn't to be crossed. The guys who had been my playmates for years, looked at me, as if they didn't know me. I wanted to shout, "Hey, it's me! What's going on?"

If anyone else was feeling as I was feeling, I sure couldn't see it. I felt very lost and if it hadn't been for my twin sister, I'd have felt very alone. I must say, that inwardly, I felt like I was an alien. New short hair, wearing teen-age dresses, nylons and flats. On top of all that, I was expected to wear a bra!

I think to combat my feelings of alienation, I began to be more sarcastic and a smart a*s.

When it came to school studies, I did well in almost all of my classes. I excelled in gym and held my own in all other subjects, except math. I was competent in the basics, however, algebra and geometry were Greek to me. The instructors could tell I was trying, but it was no use. I think they gave me a passing grade because they knew math and I would never understand each other.

Three months after school started, things hadn't changed much. The boys clustered around in groups together and the girls did the same. I can't speak for the boys, of course, but though the girls looked like they weren't paying any attention to the boys, as an observer, I can attest to the fact that the boys were very much on the girls' minds and conversations. I didn't "get it." Could not figure out why!

My sister and I had gym together once per week. Had we been identical, I have no doubt that I would have taken gym class for Sue and she would have taken my math class for me.

On this particular shared gym day, after putting on her gym clothes, Sue came over to the area where my locker was located. I was in the process of getting into my gym clothes, when I heard a gasp behind me. I turned around, looked at my sister and said, "What!?"

She was looking at me in horror and said with disbelief, "You're not wearing a bra!"

No s**t, Sherlock, I thought to myself. Aloud, I emphatically stated, "No, I'm not. I don't like bras and I am not going to wear one!"

She stood there shaking her head, once again exasperated with her twin sister.

The absolute truth was, I didn't really need a bra, yet, anyhow. If you were true to the 12 and 13 year old sisterhood, though, you wore one, regardless. Sue could wear a bra with the womanly assurance that she really did need one and had for about a year.

I drove Sue crazy during junior high and part of high school in another regard...my hair. I still had not learned how to do anything with it. A brush in my hand, did not a stylist make. Sue could count on several mornings per week, when I would throw my brush in frustration, vowing never to brush it, again. That would have embarrassed her. Or I would say I wasn't going to school that day. She'd get mad, saying, 'Alright! Come here!"

She could always make my hair look good and she will have my unending gratitude, always.

I began to have a bit of inner contempt for the other girls at school. It seemed all they talked about was boys. What really amazed me, was the way they acted around boys..."Oh, thank you for carrying that heavy thing for me." When the "she" was very capable of carrying it herself. After all, it was only a book!

Well, you get the picture, but I didn't. And to be honest, being helpless and coy around a man is not one of the womanly wiles I ever did acquire.

The confident, happy person I was in sixth grade contrasted markedly with this unsure, baffled, clueless girl I was in seventh grade.

I had never thought I would have to face the dilemma of deciding how much I would compromise who I was with the image of what society thought I should be, in order to feel accepted by my peers and adults.

And though, my breasts did devlope nicely, I still hate bras and refuse to wear one!

Reviews

[Matt Pellegrini]

"I had a good time in sixth grade." Maybe one sentence after this as an example of why sixth grade was good for the narrator. First kiss? Good grades? Met her best friend? Her favorite thing she remembers will give the reader an idea of what she values most and give insight into who she is just a bit more.

"I hung around with Larry and Glen and a few other boys." Were Larry and Glen some of the popular boys at school? Just regular guys? This could be an interesting detail if it's important or if they were the coolest guys or something, but otherwise you probably don't need a sentence after this saying anything more.

What kind of teasing was going on with Steve? What were people saying? Just a sentence or two that sums up how people would tease him and maybe WHY the things they said affected him so much to hurt him would be good details to know.

"I looked at each of them, as I said..." I accidentally thought this was a typo at first and "as" was supposed to be "and," but realized it's fine as it is. Both could work though, so go with whatever one you like better.

"Being a tomboy and having a reputation of not backing down from a fight, had its benefits." No need for the comma after fight.

"They didn't bother him anymore, but now, I had a problem. Steve looked at me with admiration and I think a bit of puppy love." Aaww, I think this is a kind of classic grade school scenario, although played out a bit in reverse as far as the gender roles go. I'm wondering if the narrator telling this story is 1. the girl at that age as this is all happening or 2. the girl after she has grown up looking back on this time. If it's the second one, the girl looking back and recalling this time, I think there's some opportunity to kind of wax philosophical here and there in the story. Like, around these two sentences, the narrator could say something as simple as, "I should have seen it coming that Steve would develop a crush on me after I stood up for him. I had seen it happen with girls getting crushes on guys that stood up for them..." only if that's true of course. But I think there can kind of be these short asides every once in awhile to spice it up.

I think the paragraph where she finally goes over to Steve's house and it's just awkward because they really have nothing in common could be expanded a bit. A few more sentences, especially ones that draw out the silence, the awkwardness so the reader really feels the same way. Instead of the girl just leaving as soon as it gets weird, and quickly taking the reader out of the awkward feeling she's experiencing, here might be a good place to have the girl give some of her thoughts at the time. "I tried to think of something to say that we might be able to talk about. I asked him what his dad did for a living and he said (whatever) and that was it. I didn't know if it would be rude to just leave, but there was nothing else to say." Just a few sentences as an example of what you could possibly go for. I mean, boy and girl awkwardness in grade school is a great feeling to write about, because we've all been there and we all squirm when we read it and have to re-live our own awkward moments. Make the reader feel that here.

"They talked of all these things I just wasn't interested in." Maybe a few examples here. I mean, we all know basically what kinds of things. Hair, modeling, dresses, girly stuff, but I think it could be good to just name one or two. Don't need to, but I don't think it would hurt.

"That is the summer," I think it should be "was" instead of "is."

The paragraph about the miniature golf course kind of just ends suddenly, as the it's all about mini-golf and being out there for hours, and then the next sentence is about school clothes shopping for 7th grade. I think a nice segue sentence at the end of the mini golf paragraph would make it end less abruptly. One suggestion is just something like, "By the time summer was ending and it was almost time to start junior high, I figured I could beat any of the boys at mini-golf/I was making hole-in-ones on all the holes I made." It kind of leads the reader in to the preparation for 7th grade and ends the summer.

The idea of having to change. That transition between the time when everybody is just themselves and then having to fit into their gender role. This was just my incomplete thought about the theme of the story I think I picked up on.

"When I got to school, all the girls were hanging out on one side of the field, while all the boys were on the other side of the field. There seemed to be an imaginary line, that wasn't to be crossed. The guys who had been my playmates for years, looked at me, as if they didn't know me. I wanted to shout, "Hey, it's me! What's going on?"

^Perfect paragraph to encapsulate that idea of recognizing and having to conform to the gender role thing in junior high and how the narrator just doesn't want to or doesn't get why she has to follow these made up guidelines and rules for how to be a guy and how to be a girl in junior high. That's what I think this story, this memory is about. Discovering these imaginary rules for how to act and behave and questioning them. Being the girl who didn't understand why it had to be this way.

It's certainly a coming of age story, the transition from girl to woman. Along the lines of a Judy Blume.

"however, getting into algebra and geometry was all Greek to me." I would maybe omit "getting into," and just have it say, "algebra and geometry were all Greek to me."

There might be a possibility to draw a comparison/parallel to not being able to understand math and feeling "alien" with algebra and feeling "alien" with the new boy-girl dynamics/and feeling alien being in dresses, wearing a bra and all that. Something to consider, for sure and it's possible you recognized this and included the math paragraph for that reason, but I think there's the potential for even more of a comparison here.

"when I heard a dramatic intake of breath behind me." It might be better to describe it a horrified gasp/gasp of horror/or just a gasp. Dramatic intake of breath is maybe too long-winded or something. Not sure, but for me, it doesn't give off the same shock as a person just simply gasping.

Maybe a little more on this 12 and 13 year old sisterhood in the bra paragraph. This is kind of the stuff I'd like to see more of in general, and here, I think you can even do more with this. Does the girl think it's stupid to wear a bra when you don't need one? Is she envious of Sue's actual need for a bra, or does she feel fortunate since she doesn't have to wear one? Maybe this is why the girl doesn't want to wear a bra. Especially having a twin who actually needs one, maybe the girl sees wearing a bra as just trying to conform to the way you're "supposed" to be a girl in the 7th grade. And as a twin, though I have no proof of this, I feel like a twin, even fraternal, in junior high would be trying to do everything to differentiate herself from her sister. Not sure why I went off on this tangent, haha, but maybe it will give you some ideas or something.

"Well, you get the picture, but I wasn't." Maybe "didn't" instead of "wasn't?" I don't know, it sounds just as right, but I think there's like a tense clash in the sentence or something. You get, I think is just standard past tense, while I wasn't is like past imperfect or something. Honestly not sure, but just pointing it out. Go with whatever one you think sounds better.

I think the ending could be a wrapped up a bit more cleanly. I mean, I kind of wondered if she ever caught on and gave in to the ways of junior high...being a girl, acting around boys, brushing her hair, and all that. And the last sentence confirms that she never did, but it just says it so quickly. Maybe like some kind of closing sentence that ties back in to the first one. Here's purely an example, it may not be anything that you want. "I wanted 7th grade/junior high to be as good as sixth grade, but because I never really played along/gave in to all the ways I was supposed to act (or whatever), junior high just wasn't as fun as 6th grade because of how everything changed. But I was still happy knowing that I was being myself and...(something else to end on a happy note)."

I'm a big fan of the title (it's fun and humorous), and I think your story/memory is a great one that will really connect with everybody. It's something we all shared in common growing up and making that transition or seeing people change to fit the mold. My only suggestion is to flesh out some of the details a little more. Doesn't need to be for everything, doesn't need to be a lot, but some of the key scenes you really want to emphasize, maybe just a little bit more to put the reader there in that moment.

I enjoyed reading this for sure. It was a pleasant look back at one of those major transition points in all of our lives, when boys and girls suddenly became "more" than just boys and girls haha.

[Barbara Walker]

Thank you for the extensive review! I see what you mean. I originally wrote this for a blog and was kept to a word count, but for a short story, I do need to flesh it out a bit. You offered some great ideas! Thanks!

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Interesting insights into what I like to call "the diabolical female mind". Though you seemed to be an outsider to the clique, you were admitted based on proper physical characteristics. I liked the opening, displaying your compassion for Stephen and how it backfired into unwanted attention (probably a lesson that has come in handy many times since then). The flow of the story is engaging and makes me want to read on. My only complaints are minimal and technical. It appears that in two or three spots you got "comma happy", inserting them where I would not have. Also I wondered why the first two very short paragraphs had to be paragraphs unto themselves. I would have made the first three paragraphs into one paragraph.

Otherwise ... a very engaging and pleasant read.

[A. Amos]

I really like the flow and your story telling in this chill-out tale. simply spectacular

[Barbara Walker]

I'm pleased you enjoyed it A. Amos!. Thank you!

[A. Amos]

I always enjoy your work my dear and you're most welcome

[Craig2591]

Oh, the games we played in our youth... and continued to play throughout our lives.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good story. I believe good for girls not to rush into adulthood. Good for girls to be into sports. I like the thoughts and the action of the girl. Thank you for sharing the outstanding story.
Coyote

[Barbara Walker]

Thank you for taking the time to read my story!