Ingrained

adjective; (of a habit, belief, or attitude) firmly fixed or established; difficult to change.

“Dying seems like this family’s favourite thing to do”,

I scream at our open tomb, 

Of unseen rage,

And generation upon generation of shame.

 

Because nothing any of us seem to do,

Ever seem to mend or break through,

The holes you threw us through, 

Nothing we could find at the bottom of a bottle of wine,

Or with any sort of natural peace of mind,

Our fate has always been enshrined.

And alas, the meeting of the two,

The dark and the blue, 

Relax comfortably, 

Here indefinitely,

In the hidden corners of my mind,

Waiting for me to shine, 

To come and remind me,

That I was never meant to be seen, 

Never, simply, meant to be.

Because my very existing is a cause for glee,

In depths of the devil’s deepest sea.

Drowning the fiery flames, 

You forged from your shame,

Causing me a world of pain, 

And forcing me to do the same.

Reviews

[willweb]

There is a darkness and a loneliness to this piece but also a desire. A desire to be a part of something, to be relevant, to be needed or at least be seen and definitely appreciated. Often life can feel like this, like we are here but unseen, invisible. And these feelings become ingrained in our everyday world if we allow it to happen. Nicely done my friend and nice to see you again.

[K.P.H.M]

Thank you so much my friend! I'm glad the energy I was trying to write about got through! Nice to see you again as well.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

For me, you have enshrined the feelings of a child that was unloved and unwanted, born into a family full of lies and shame. Only by breaking that cycle of abuse and by removing oneself from the family can that person be free.

[K.P.H.M]

Thank you so much for your comment! I'm glad that sentiment was able to get through! That was definitely the energy I was trying to capture through this piece.