Contorted

adjective; twisted or bent out of the normal shape.

Stone against stone,

Bone against bone,

As the robe falls down,

I turn my gaze from the mirror,

Hating what I saw,

For years and years. 

Comparison drew loneliness in,

Instead of taking heed of how I felt, 

I played pretend. 

Highlighting the parts that others stared at, 

Thinking I didn’t notice, 

Highlighting the parts they snickered to their friends about, 

For years and years. 

Anxiety drips through me,

Coating me slowly,

And scary thought rears its ugly head,

That I will never look at my mirrored image,

And be truly beautiful, 

Ever again.

In the way I want to be, 

In the way they want me to be,

In the way he wants me to be.

Stone against stone, 

Bone against bone. 

Until I’m empty, 

Throwing stones through my glass walls,

Willing myself to cry,

As I kneel on the bathroom floor. 

Reviews

[willweb]

Wow, that was really sad and very deeply lonely. All I can say is, I do the same and think some of the same things and then change my mind and think, I am who I am and that should be good enough for everyone and if it is not, that is their problem. Now I know, this person doesn't like what they see...it is not how they want to look. Ok, I get that, but I can tell you this...what they want to see doesn't matter, what he wants to see does to a certain extent but...if he is the right person then anything he sees should be what he loves. The important person here is the one looking in the mirror again. Once that person learns to love themselves, then the mirror will no longer be the enemy. And in closing, since I got so long winded and carried away (I'm sorry) WE all can probably stand to lose a few pounds, maybe do something with our hair, maybe smile more and the good thing about that is, it can be done if they really want to. Ok...final closing...though sad and lonely, I loved your poem The emotions were so evident it was as if someone was speaking directly to me, tugging at my heart. Really nicely expressed my friend.

[K.P.H.M]

Thank you so much for your review! I agree with you: once a person is able to love themselves, it's easy for our view in the mirror to be less contorted. And I agree that we can make changes if we want to and hopefully then we won't spend our entire existence living for and in the mirror (which is something I will admit I have been guilty of). I'm glad you enjoyed this piece as it was very personal one for me to write. Thank you for always supporting my writing! I appreciate it.