Doldrums

noun; A state of inactivity

Existing for others 

Killed the only part of her that was whole 

Demolished the sunshine within 

Leaving the battlefields scared and haunted 

Leaving her alone in a foxhole

Crying without tears 

Screaming with no one around to hear 

Forever bound to perform 

For a non existent audience 

Of people who wouldn’t care 

Even if they were there 

And she yearns for the girl she used to be

With bruised knees,

And the sea in her veins

Raiding sunshine through the darkest of storms,

While ensuring all the pine trees stayed ashore

She got lost somewhere out there 

Amongst the sea foam and thunder 

Bobbing just above the surface 

Until she looked up at the night sky 

And stopped it all 

Something new washed ashore in her place

Drenched in something she couldn’t quite figure out 

But it felt like self-doubt 

Lost was the sunshine and in came the pain,

Although she still glowed

It wasn’t as bright as before 

It was never for her 

And it never was again.