Fear of Falling

It's just a big old metaphor

What if I had lost myself in the fear?
I could've forgotten every inch of common sense just to dive deep into the abyss.
That's where I went wrong.
I fell in head first but kept bobbing back for air.
Accustomed to being dragged below, I waited, treading.
I waited and waited for that tug on my ankle, for that coveted invitation to drown by your side.
Even though we all know waiting never works.
When I saw you were gone, I waded back to the shore, shook the sand from my clothes and the salt from my hair.
I covered the nakedness never to be exposed again.
I walked away from the ocean where all life began, away from the salt water's unquenchable thirst.
For two months I trudged to the highest landlocked peak on the planet.
I sat every day and every night, hoping to hear the owl hoots, the coyote howls, the low-pitched wind whistle of loneliness.
But the sound of the ocean fills my head like a conch shell and I can't lick my lips without tasting the sea.
I'm past the point of wishing the water away.
I know its ghost will haunt me only until I fall face first, only until the next spook seduces me into a new trance.
Yet I dodge and I dart from every shadow and sound.

Laughing at the game, nothing scares me now.
Longing for something to frighten me the way you did.
Knowing the next dive needs to count more than ever as I eye the jagged rocks waiting below.
If I couldn't stay submerged in the water my soul called home,
how will I fall face first 29,035 feet? 

Author's Note

I think the concept of fear can get confusing at a few points in this piece. I'm not sure how to clarify because I'm so immersed in this right now. Any suggestions are welcomed.

Reviews

[Chad Wesley Allbrett]

In this, fear, like pain, can be alluring. At first a question, then a regret over a missed opportunity. At last a long missed companion, a lover maybe, the color of a ghost. Finally a resigned laughter, fear the enemy and companion two. Summiting fear perhaps?