A ponderous refection waxing philosophic about our world.
I
often feel we live midst a self-immolated utterly hostile world. Resignation
cancer slowly digests belief in the decency of humans. All of us. My belief
ebbs and flows daily. Clinging tenuously to hope all the while feeling an evil
foreboding stomp on my painful fingertip optimist's grasp, directs hurtling
toward the reality ground. After I pull myself out of my crater, I'm angry with
myself for my optimism transmogrifying into skepticism. That's a slippery
slope, ending at cynic. But I feel my abhorrent drifting through a fiendish
sticky oily tasting venomous cloud. I'm loathe to go there. I'm fogged in,
searching in vain for my way out. My prize is how I feel. Empty. Emotionally
drained. This is not who I am, or what I believe. I long to feel the good stuff
only. All the time. Yet, uncharted terrain and unseen waters fall away before
me, luring me into a false sense of secure hope. Answers await my picking them
like a ripened dandelion. Always just ahead. As if the earth is flat, and I can
sail up to its edge, absorb comforting wisdom, and relish my satiated
addiction.
WOW! i reall love this: "I long to feel the good stuff only. All the time." somehow because this thought is broken into two phrases, it really makes me understand your though better. The pause indicated by the period gives a short impression of hesitation, or indecisivenesss about your feeling. Yet at the same time the words "All the time." solidify and decisively make your point. It concretizes your feeling and your intentions. I really like how you wrote that thought! great stuff