Who is the A*s Hat in Charge of this Gig?

Completed January 18, 2014

There's beauty in sadness

and sadness at heart

Sometimes the key's all too tired

of forcing the engine to start

Twisting and turning she pushes and hauls

but the engine just wheezes 

then coughs and stalls

Outside the wind amplifies the fire

blowing hot dry air

preaching to the choir

while the devil himself

rocks in his chair,

puffs on his pipe,

and fixes his stare

"To hell with you all"

A calling is uttered past the bushes and groves

all the while Miss Georgia's bruised peach

slaves over the stove

and dreams of the days

wearing buttoned up satin

and doily garnished robes

When the compliments came easy

and the juices always flowed

"She's quite the looker"

they all used to say

Her gams long and thin

hair pinned just the right way

The fantasy lives on

can't scratch the glitter from her ears

She's a superstar for sure

she glimmers spotlights in her tears

Fresh squeezed lemonade sweats

in a pitcher out back

The mason jars wait to be filled and tipped

The soft horizon blends

weaving tall grass to clouds

and all in the mind

soon a lone ranger will ride

and be counted like sheep

so the sun can go to sleep

and allow the stars to climb from their slumber

June bugs hymn 

and toads join in

to croak a bluesy rhythm 

Such calm and serene

though things are never as they seem

and the sand is being spent

from this hourglass we rent

while we're frequently pained with thoughts

of having to reset the clock

In this time 

sadness slips into the emptiness that exists

until the bulb is filled

with the same grains of sand

reoccurring thoughts

monotonous and over taught

only to be sifted again

A man looking awfully like god

leather dress shoes, the brass cuff pins and all

steps onto the dew braised grass

and flashes a smile

decorated by a gold tooth cap

Then in a strategic business approach

tries to sell the good word

So the devil chased him off

with brandy scented scoffs

and the partition of heaven and hell

became blazed by flames again.

Over the singing of cicadas 

the pageant queen begins to weep

In a dramatic film like scene

breaking dishes in the sink

Someone give her an Oscar

throw some roses at her feet

She's truly got a gift

building dreams on make believe

As for me I just sit

waiting for nothing at all

No excitement for sunrise

or the sky when night falls

I've counted my blessings

and found my two cents and all,

traded them for a dime

then threw my quarters at the wall

I'm a fossil of donated carbon

waiting to give that carbon away

I'm a no good sad Sally

a real gloom and doom

a tumble weed rolling

on these dust roads I loom

We're interconnected through isolation

dry in our wits

Aching to feel

bothered when we feel the ache

The long stretch is near

but near is far

especially when asking

to know who we are

So simple and daft

yet genetically complex

Walking contradictions

standing in lines all our lives

waiting to be next

I've walked to the threshold of sanity

which doesn't exist

and met an old timed rookie

who traded his brains for bliss

I welcomed him to the company

manufacturing ignorance for apathy

then added his name to the list

My patience ran thin

boredom struck me again

and I ditched that poor old f****r

I found solace in lies

convinced myself to compromise 

and amused myself with prayer:

Oh lord take me in!

I've been cleansed of my sins!

I bought Jesus on my doorstep 

from a man with a grin

He changed my dirty ways

through indulgences I paid

He drove off in a Caddy 

with a bumper reading "saved"

I know I'll have a place

up in paradise

once I rid my hair

of the fleas and the lice

But maybe I've lost interest

that's happened once or twice

Instead I'll buy some whisky

and get tangled in a vice

so as to wash away some time

in this god forsaken life

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Exactly what I want to know...this is bat shyte crazy good! Rather a long read but well worth it....

I've walked to the threshold of sanity
which doesn't exist
and met an old timed rookie
who traded his brains for bliss

Too many great lines to choose from, and each one of these stanzas is a poem that could stand alone...well done, or your goose is cooked, which seems to be the emotion in much of this amazing read. Finding solace in lies...yep.

[Kahtia Howard]

Thank you so much Frieda for reviewing and your kind words! This is my favorite poem so I am satisfied with knowing that you find it to be a worthy read.

[Frieda P]

It's excellent, I tend not to read pieces this lengthy but once I started reading, I couldn't stop, and each line got better....my pleasure!

[Frieda P]

Ha I just read your profile, I thought I recognized a little snarky New Yawker in there. ;-)

[Kahtia Howard]

ahahah ;) I'm glad it showed through :p

[Frieda P]

Ha a neighbor can always tell where the sass comes from ;-)

[Chris]

Was a time I used to prefer commercials to most of the shows - then the same peeps started making both..The midnight cig is beat by the 2 A.M. stare at the 3 A.M. nothing as the sunrise starts the cacophony all over yet again ...and again

A good apathy is a terrible thing to waste. Normally takes years of observed abuse and decades of non-follow-through, but sometimes we do find the "bumps" along our way and the distraction of "caring" overwhelms even the change to Daylight Savings Time - and you HAVE to KNOW how much THAT bites! Right?

I've always hated Starbuck's coffee - but loved the people and the damnedest thing is few ever look at me askance nor ask why - they just nod as if to themselves and come back the next day.

You ever sit out on a fire-escape as the day's heat radiates out into the fake city night... arms wrapped round your knees - tight and just be ...nothing... just captured and held by it all and drifting where it takes you? And it's never quite quiet... you THINK it is but when you FINALLY experience true ...quiet... you realize everafter how alone you aren't and yet ...are?

The mark of a good poem is in the thoughts you have during and after its reading - not the distractions.

[Kahtia Howard]

I like your style of reviewing, responding to a poem with a poem, and you're right about your last line :)

[Chris]

It IS easy to say you understand - and hard to show it unless you do ...understand. If another person can touch ,,,me, what better way to say hello back?

[Nusquam Esse]

You have a unique way of flowing with your words, it is nice to see some variety from the usual fare. I like the story here, and it is one which I can all too well relate to. Definitely some bitterness in me towards that 'a*s-hat'. I especially like the way you used the bugs in this, it may not seem big to most, but when you have spent a decent amount of time around June Bugs and Cicadas, not having them around feels odd. It is similar to growing up on the mountains, and then living on the prairies, you have a hard time figuring out where you are going without the mountains to guide you... and everything just feels so out of place. It adds a great sense of nostalgia in there! (I have moved around a LOT) I still miss the sound of Cicada, especially the Higurashi...

[Kahtia Howard]

There's definitely a lot of bitterness in me too lol. I'm glad you like the story and find my word flow unique. I appreciate the review :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Ok, let me first off say, this is REALLY good. I am new to you, KL = Kara Lynn - I have a short attention span and this one held me to the end. To top it off, I was too busy being blown away to notice if there were any errors -- and once you get to know me, you will know just how hard it is to pass one by me. I don't know which line I think I like best, but I think I am "sold" on the Jesus line. BRAVO.

[Kahtia Howard]

I feel honored Kara, thank you so much! Your sweet words boosted my joy about 10 levels!