Oh Tempest of Mine

Written December 12, 2011

I aimed to just dapper my toes in the salty tide 

and somehow ended up going for a swim.

I reached waist deep when a riptide gripped me with strong arms

and pulled me in.

I've been treading water ever since.

Sometimes I close my eyes and try to remember what it's like on land

where I felt a safety that has far disintegrated into my thoughts.

With each kick to stay afloat I lose a little more strength

a little more energy

and a little bit more of myself.

My skin soaks in his body

and I feel as much as he.

Never would the blue water believe I do,

but he's too engulfed in the idea that he's a collection of tears

to realize that I continue to float with him

rather than to frantically slosh around

and chance swimming back to shore.

On days that I feel tired and wish he'd spare the abuse,

he shows me no mercy

and violently thrusts his salty grey insults

down my vulnerable throat.

The waves urge me to fight with their rough taunting slander

but I've yet to break from their impulsive punches...

maybe just bruise.

I have two perfectly viable options:

swim with all of my might away from him and his wrath,

or close my eyes, give in to the serenity of sleep

and sink below without a sound, 

without remorse.

My options lay untouched as I cannot fathom following through with either one. 

I remain treading water and fighting to stay afloat.

Life boats come to save me, many sounding my name,

though something compels me to stay 

and none can ever seem to pull me out of the water, 

though he would willingly let go.

Night is looming over us and the darkness has upset him again.

A mighty tempest is sure to set in.

The waves start to churn and clash against me;

stinging me briskly as they swat at my face.

I choke on the waves and spit them back out so he can try a taste.

The contempt swells up and he feverishly forces me under,

submerging me until my last breath is almost expelled

from my oxygen deprived lungs.

 I frantically claw my way to the top and gasp for the sweet taste of air above.

With red swollen eyes my salt adds to his impressive collection

and in a sudden burst of compassion the waves calm to ripples

and the water turns warm as it embraces me.

After every fit it seems he finally comes to the realization that

I could have escaped

but I chose to fight the weather with him

even if he caused it.

I'm used to this; I've come to predict the weather by now,

though that will never stop me from dreaming and believing 

that one day this tempest will subside into sunshine

and I can drift into the beautiful eyes of the open water

that I inexplicably love. 

Author's Note

I apologize for potential grammatical errors in this one. It is long and copying all of these down is starting to confuse my brain! I have no other comments on this one.

Reviews

[Natasha Zoya]

I could be wrong but from what I read I can take this literally that the narrator is lost at sea or take it as a metaphor for abusive relationships.