Registered at Wal-Mart

Wal-Mart is a wonderful place
You can register there any time of day
Gifts for all occasions
No matter the age
Wal-mart is a saving grace

I once decided that I needed new parts
Grown tired and weary
Bit by bit falling apart
So I gathered up my broken pieces
Took them to Wal-Mart
Looking to register for replacements

The cashier looked lost
When I told her what I needed
I broke it down so simple
Even an elementary kid could understand it

The back is broken down
Desperately needs replacement
Do you carry this year on isle eight?
I'll also take a warranty on all the pieces.

My shoulder is out of whack
Keeps dislocating for no reason
I will take a newer model please
Just show me which isle
Then I'll stop complaining

This old neck is causing a lot of pain
I would like to find a replacement
Do you have my size or is special order
I can wait if needed

My breasts are tender and sagging a bit
I would like to keep the same size and shape
Just perk them up a tad if you don't mind
Hopefully I can find them on isle nine

I could not believe my ears
When she told me to leave
She asked if I was crazy
I politely told her no
My name is Sherry

She then called her manager
Acted as though I was a thief
Requested security to escort me
At first I thought it was a treat

I told her I did not need a private escort
Through out the department store
I was willing to do my own shopping
I only needed to know where to go

You would have been shocked
While I stood there in disbelief
She told me where to go all right
I guarantee it was no where in the store

I guess they no longer stock
My old body parts
No longer covered by warranty
At least not at my local Wal-Mart

--Sherry Lynn Hull

Reviews

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Ha! This is a great bit of fun. Very creative. I guess you can't get everything at Walmart (but I bet you can find it online lol). Thanks for the laugh this morning :)