Pt. 1 - Lessons in Depression & Happiness

Being a human is difficult, but being a good human is damned near impossible.

Existential Exegesis 

Pt. 1 of ?

"…much will be gained if we succeed in transforming your hysterical misery into common unhappiness. With a mental life that has been restored to health, you will be better armed against that unhappiness." - Sigmund Freud

I have discovered in my short time on this earth that the 'pursuit of happiness' is far more complicated than just seeking to live a life that you are not unhappy with. Even if one can dedicate enough time and energy into surrounding themselves with people, objects and endeavors that make them feel 'happy,' that doesn't mean at all that they will be fulfilled by these enterprises.

  In fact, oftentimes that fabled pursuit--even when undertaken with the utmost of dedication and sincerity--can lead the pursuer down a path of hedonistic indulgence: seeking out instant gratification, allowing egocentric motives to drive one's behavior, justifying hedonism through careful mental gymnastics and averting from honest introspection, et cetera and so-forth. This is arguably one of the biggest problems with the modern human: if one is not directly affected by an action, one has no cogent reason to give two f***s (or any lesser number of f***s) about the consequences of that action. 

We cannot be held accountable for all manner of injustices that we do not prevent ourselves; the uncomfortable idea that our entire species is detrimental and toxic to the very f*****g earth we live on is hard to ignore, but that doesn't necessarily mean we should all commit suicide at once (or at the very least, that is a moral quandary that can be puzzled over later). However, the fact that so many humans, perhaps even the majority of humans, live hedonistically, indulgently, uncompassionately, frivolously, petulantly, expectantly, boorishly, egocentrically, and above all other adjectives, inconsiderately, is certainly one of the core problems in our collective way of life here on Mother F*****g Earth.

To say that MFE would be better off without us is a give-in, an unnecessary statement, but since we're all here already--global ice caps melting around us, the last White Rhino counting his final days, nuclear reactors leaking radiation across the globe--shouldn't it be some kind of legal requirement for human beings to treat each other decently? One can dream, I suppose. Note: I'd love to say that we should treat all forms of life with an equal respect, do away with Monsanto and McDonalds and the FDA and Kim Kardashian and all that s**t, but I'd like to start small and be at least a little bit realistic, here. 

The question, then, becomes clear: how can we be GOOD HUMANS when we're surrounded by everyday cruelty, genetically predisposed to further our species regardless of the consequences, and socially trained that it's okay to treat people however you want, so long as you don't murder anyone or break any totalitarian laws in the process?

The answer(s) may surprise you: Just Stop It. Quit Doing That. You Stop Being a Conniving, Dishonest, Selfish F**k This Instant, Or So Help Me God I Will Drive This Car Off a Cliff. 

It seems impossible to just wake up one day and decide to stop being selfish, to be open and honest about yourself even if it makes your life difficult, to stop using people to validate your existence, to stop throwing garbage out the window when you're driving so long as nobody sees you do it--but that's exactly what one must do to really elicit any kind of substantial change in one's life. This is exceedingly difficult because there is NOT any immediate reward, no resounding applause every time you act selflessly, nobody asking you to give a speech at an Ivy League graduation ceremony on 'Ways I Successfully Avoided Being a F*****g Jerk This Week,' just because you weren't a f*****g jerk that week. It's a constant process, an uphill battle with no foreseeable end, but without this constant effort to improve one's self, the 'pursuit of happiness' is nothing more than pursuing YOUR HAPPINESS at the expensive of OTHER PEOPLE.

Don't do that kind of s**t anymore, man. Empathy is probably one of the hardest things to really, honestly incorporate into your thought process, but it's crucial to living a life that doesn't just siphon good feelings from other people's lives into your own. They paid for that Life-Fuel, damn it, and you can't just go sucking on hoses and drawing off other people to fuel your own janky-a*s Life Car. You must get a job and pay for that precious resource, and for the purpose of this questionable analogy (one that I admit has fully gotten away from me), that job is to put other people's happiness above your own. Even if it doesn't benefit you in any way, helping other people selflessly is the first step towards true, lasting, substantial happiness. 

The subsequent steps are a bit unclear right now, but if I figure anything out I'll be sure to let myself (the "you," "one," "they," etc. mentioned above) know all about it. Don't stop fighting the good fight, kick your own a*s daily and don't let that selfish sonofabitch in the mirror tell you what to do from here on out. (S)He's not all that great, anyway. 

-TI 5/30/15