Aqueous Remedies

the beginning of our journey
came with breaths of salty air
forced into our lungs with agony
the breeding grounds of love
enticed us to descend in their waters
far from the earthly core above

in the ocean we swam with hope
gliding along the seascape
twirling down the paths we rode
until we were immersed in the waves
and felt their aqueous remedies
repairing our anguish in a cascade

our bodies floated towards the center
the pull of gravity carrying us
to where darkness started to blur
we peered down at the distant floor
our hands locked together again
as we rose to the ocean's silky shore

the final steps of our journey
were laced with a sweetened breeze
and the atmosphere of our shared destiny
we broke the surface with peace resolved
our fingers remaining united
and the rust on our hearts dissolved

Reviews

[Bullet Soul]

I'm definitely going to struggle with this review, as it's extremely hard for me to sum up my feelings about such a beautiful poem in a few short sentences. The feelings you write of in this poem are exquisite; forgiveness, love, and the willingness to forgive yourself and the ones you love for past burdens and mistakes. The waters of love bring you redemption, and repair the things that keep you alive. This is truly beautiful, and I admire the passion with which you write. If only we all could write such beautiful poems! Keep up the good work, you are talented with your words!

[PoeT4994]

Once again, nice piece. I'm guessin this is about Alfonzo too...I hope to God that all these aren't about him, cuz stickin to one type of writing isn't good, especially when it's about played out or extremely touchy 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I liked it.

[Deeksha]

'the final steps of our journey
were laced with a sweetened breeze
and the atmosphere of our shared destiny
we broke the surface with peace resolved
our fingers remaining united
and the rust on our hearts dissolved'

Beautiful. :)

Good luck in my contest. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem. Every line with a purpose. Kind and gentle words led me to a very good ending. Complete poem was outstanding. Thank you.
Coyote