Villanelle of the Madman

"When in my mind though rise..."

Villanelle of the Madman

By: Ethan West

 

When in my mind thought rise

The Crashing waves of life

Leave all else to lies

The bitter morning despises

My heart in dismal strife

When in my mind thought rise

When hands all arise

They’re acts like sharpened knife

Leave all else to lies

I find my foul demise

When misery make melody my wife

When in my mind thought rise

They fight me fast, their fury flies

Their screams shrill as the fife

Leave all else to lies

You’ll find me in disguise

And meet me bearing scythe

When in my mind thought rise

Leave all else to lies

Author's Note

This is a Villanelle. It has a very complicated rhyme scheme and is the last poem from my book that will be posted on this site. I had someone request that I do a Villanelle and being as I already had a couple I decided to post my favorite of the two :) I really hope you guys enjoy this! Any input you have for me is greatly appreciated!

Reviews

[Mark]

I'm sorry to hear that you've decided to leave WC.
This contained grammatical errors which to my mind lessened its effect. Your adherence to the difficult form was noteworthy, and I very much liked lines like, "When misery makes melody my wife", and, "The crashing waves of life". I shall miss coming to know you better.

[ewest1220]

Huh? I'm not leaving wc

[Mark]

Your Author's note above says, "This is the last poem"...ahhh, I see my mistake, NOT "the LAST poem", but "the last poem FROM MY BOOK". My bad!

[Mark]

PS: Have a new villanelle, just written today, that I will have posted in a little under an hour, if you're interested. Title: "The Old Poet's Lament"...to echo "Old Soldier", I suppose!

[Archia]

I really liked this. I honestly can't say whether it's technically good in terms of what a villanelle is but the style works regardless and it reads well. I thought that repeated line was good, it was quite emphasised by the end and I think it was a good one to be emphasised.

[eatmills]

Quite a piece. It has an epic feel to it. Message me when it's done as opposed to read requesting. Messages are always responded to in a timely fashion.

[eglantine]

Props to you for writing a villanelle. They are probably my favorite of the structured poems. What is your favorite villanelle?

[SyberRose]

This is the second villanelle I have read on here today...Good job as I know they arent easy to do...Enjoyed...SyberRose

[TheJordBaker]

I do enjoy a good villanelle. Thanks for sharing.

[Racy Daniel]

Beautifully written.

[DiMar4u]

I really enjoyed this piece. I think it would make great song lyrics. Thank you for sharing...I've read it five times already--

[emmajoy]

Congratulations, you've virtually captured the Villanelle to the last dot! There are phrases that curl the toes, there are stanzas that ring so very true to form,
my favourite must be: ' They fight me fast, their fury flies ~ Their screams shrill as the fife ~ Leave all else to lies.'

[Yasmin]

what a lovely poem. I like it a lot. though at some points the rhyme seems to be forced.
"The bitter morning despises
My heart in dismal strife
When in my mind thought rise"
Beautiful ...
Well done

[quarintine_deathangel]

Another awesome poem! Kudos for doing it under a structure too! I find it pretty hard to follow structurees and still get my emotion through XD Nice Job, it was interesting to read and Thankyou for writing! ^.^