Taint

Taint

By: Ethan West

The cold bars clinch my teeth again

My heart a jailbird calm in wait

Will anyone find me in this den?

Will anyone free my soul from taint?

Or will I stay here on the ground

A rusted statement of my hate

A broken mirror that's honor bound

A broken heart that's filled with taint

I struggle with the love I've found

This putrid love of dirty slate

I feel my misery abound

I feel my fetid, horrid taint

And I am sad with duty sound

To play the gong that sealed my fate

That man is me, I've run aground

That man is running from the taint

The one who tried to find me here

Her lips and eyes made fear abate

She shackled me with twisted sneer

She shackled me to evil taint

I cannot lift her shackles now

I cannot breath, I cannot wait

My heart is bleeding from my brow

My heart is reeling from the taint

Can anybody hear me scream

For help and someones hand to take?

To take from me from what bitter seem

To take from I this weakened taint

I scream and shout for you to come

As bitter fear has met my fate

And then you reached for me and sung

My pattern broken by your taint

And in your voice I heard my heart

The little bit not left to fate

It is in love I'll find that art

A kiss from you may clean this taint

But these cold bars still seal my art

And these cold words still seal my fate

For while I run to steal your heart

I am consumed by all my taint

Author's Note

This is one of an additional 3 poems from my book that I'm releasing exclusively to the writerscafe community. Thank you guys so much for all your support and enjoy these three poems! Any feedback is greatly appreciated! This is one of my darker works be warned.

Reviews

[kublakhan27]

This is the first piece of yours I've read in a while, which I'm a little ashamed to admit :P you have a unique voice, like new-school language being presented through old-school forms...you're certainly well-deserving of your own books...great stuff :)

[ewest1220]

Well I am truly glad you liked it! Also I haven't been on in awhile so I haven't had any new stuff to show ya :) Thanks again for reading my friend!

[kublakhan27]

No problem, I'll be sure to keep an eye out for future stuff :)

[Clive D Costa]

Dark is where i lurk bro

[Hatchling]

I love this

[K.C. Zbryk]

I honestly think some of the repetition was overdone in this piece. I love the dark imagery but when you constrain yourself through cyclical thinking it gets distracting. Perhaps if this was a little shorter it wouldn’t have bothered me as much. But I also have a hard time with formed writing. Don’t like to try and shoehorn my words through some colander. It was a nice poem and i could tell there was a lot of thought that went into it though...

[quarintine_deathangel]

Nice job, the imagery is excellent! Very interesting and drawing to the reader who's being drawn into this world the whole time. Thanks for writing ^^

[Bluefire]

This is amazing. I love the rhyming scheme and rhythm to the words, as well as the story that plays out.
Well done! ^^

[Valentine]

Taint mine and it taint yours..reminds me of an old country tune of long ago..being wrapped up in self pity will get you nowhere..

[MandaBear]

Absolutely fantastic. I have these moments sometimes. Thank you for sharing this with me!

[Mark]

A man who is so completely consumed with his own sorrow has to accept the inevitability of his own misery and loneliness. You have well conveyed that image here. Since it is apparent that you are capable of using the same word in several different contexts, as well as working within a limited rhyme scheme, I would challenge you to attempt one of the less-popular old forms: the Villanelle. Think nineteen lines, distributed thus: five stanzas of RS a-b-a, a sixth of a-b-a-a, and in addition, the first line is repeated verbatim in the 6th, 12th and 18th positions, and the third line similarly repeated in the 9th, 15th and 19th. The hardest challenge, obviously, is to make your 1st and 3rd sufficiently flexible that their meaning will remain credible through three repetitions, but not so without meaning as to be thought trite. I DARE YA! I recommend Dylan Thomas's "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night", as well as my own "Old Soldier" as good examples of the form.

[ewest1220]

Well I actually have written two Villanelle's. I'll post one of them up also I'll make a note to look at "Old Soldier" I love reading more complex and intricate works. Past that thank you so much for you very detailed and thoughtful input on my works! Thank you so much for reading and I'm thrilled you enjoyed my work!

[gombeggar]

these words make u wanna shower like u didn't scrub enough...sure rings of being trapped in a sour milk sea

[ewest1220]

Very interestingly put. "A sour milk sea" sound horrible for the record lol thank you so much for reading it was nice to hear from you again!

[J. F. Charleston]

Absolutely fantastic. We all have these moments. Thanks for sharing.

[ewest1220]

And thank you for reading!