A Tale of Love

A Tale of Love

By: Ethan West

I will now tell you a tale.  It's a tale of affection and love of the most beauteous kind.  You will be keen to disregard this tale as something false.

You will see, through unseen eyes, a man and a woman protecting their hearts.  You will see them set up barriers in mind and act that should have ripped them apart.  But from some beautiful miracle these barriers fall.

I will show you those first awkward moments turn to bliss as they wander within the other's eyes.  The poetic comfort as their laughs erase in their mind all else but each other.  In a sense you will become a part of that bliss.

I will show you their bliss turn into love.  A love that will persist the test of time.  Something pure, something beautiful.

And just like that my tale has ended.  But where did it begin?  Confused?  Don't be.

You were there the entire time...

Author's Note

Was supposed to write a love story, not sure if this was quite what my teacher had in mind but people seem to like this one. Not my personal favorite I'll be honest. What do you guys think? Any input is greatly appreciated!

Reviews

[Aarontastic]

Honestly, I think this sounds like a well-written preface or description of a story, not a love story unto itself. That's not a radical interpretation I guess, because that's pretty much what it is, right? There are elements of a story here, namely characters and a rudimentary narrative. But they are all so evanescent and abstract, and the story is so short, that I couldn't really get into it.

I did notice that as I was reading this short story, I pictured the scenes described unfolding in my mind. Therefore, the mysterious passage at the end I interpreted as meaning that you wrote this in such a way as to deliberately evoke this tale in the minds' of readers so that they saw themselves in the position of the characters--so in a sense, I felt like you left them deliberately blank so that we could see ourselves in their places. That's just my hypothesis and it may be way off the mark XD

Ultimately, I think of this as a prettily-worded and poetic introduction to a story that sounds generic, but moving too. However I'd say it ends too abruptly and without advancing very far, so it's elusive. But that's what you were going for I think.

Or I am just way over-analyzing this XD

[ewest1220]

Actually on your second point you are absolutely spot on. I love the analysis of my work you have given me some fantastic input I really appreciate the time you took on this review! I love the perspective you took and I do see the "generic" part of this as you say. Thanks again for reading!

[Foxemerald]

Ahhh, so we were there! Well, this was quite fascinating, and witty as well, but I do think that perhaps some of your initial premise for writing the piece was lost. The end, while providing an excellent reason for the rather quaint way in which the story was narrated, gave an explanation with lingering questions. Well, I might want to know, for instance, why you were telling me the story if I was there. If you are speaking love to a great love of yours, then perhaps you simply need to rely on that sentiment to sprinkle the piece with a bit of passion. Ambiguous is charming, no doubt, and I am a bit fan of it myself, so I understand the temptation . . . but I think this has marvelous potential, in both length and sentiment.

[ewest1220]

Very true. You know I think I'm going to add lengthening this to my list of things to do :) (Though it is a very long list so it may take me a bit lol) Either way thank you so much for reading it's always a pleasure!

[Foxemerald]

You are quite welcome, but the pleasure is of course mine to hold to =)

[luv2dream]

I love this! Truly amazing! You had me in a trance from the beginning!

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[JadeForever]

It was good, but I think that you should of made it a tad bit longer. It seems like a hooker kind of writing to get you deeper into a bigger piece of writing. I liked a lot. Perhaps you should continue it? make it a book?

-Jade

[ewest1220]

Seems to be the general consensus lol I'm currently working on a book at the moment but after that I may look at this piece again.

[Brandon Mathis]

I can see as how it's a love poem but in your own way, lol. Good write man i like it!!

[ewest1220]

Thanks man!

[Brandon Mathis]

Still going through the read requests, sorry.

[Madelyn Defray]

This remindes me very much of the ominous voice over in movie trailers. I did like it though. It's short and sweet and helps give a kick start to what could be a very endearing love story

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Glad you liked it!

[Serenity Faith]

This will probably make you laugh, but have you ever seen The Princess Bride? If not I would greatly recommend it! It's mine and my husband's movie ^_^ And this is what your piece reminded me of. I loved it! I do have to agree with blank's review though. It does seem like something you'd read on the back of a book. Very intriguing. All-in-all though, a great write.

[ewest1220]

lol I've seen part of the movie actually but not all of it. I'm really glad you enjoyed this thank you so much for reading!

[Ama May Cooper]

I like it. Its missing the tale though, i feel it is beauty as a poem the way you lyrically weave is wonderful as always.
But as a story i think it needs more , as much as your story requires intellect to understand which is a beauty within itself. It feels like you have set up such a great and entracing tale of star crossed and honest love that it makes you want to hear every inch of it.
Ha in a way your art with words has let you down you have described scattered parts of something wonderful , which has made me thirsty for a love story written with such artistic words.

[ewest1220]

You know I might just do that! That actually sounds really interesting to do! Either way thanks for reading I'm thrilled you liked it!

[Ama May Cooper]

Please do , i would be really excited to read it!

[T. Logan]

I love the 'first awkward moments turn to bliss'. The ending is really cool, it's about us! Haha. i like this.

[ewest1220]

lol thanks T. Logan it's always a pleasure to hear from you! Thanks for reading I'm glad you liked it!

[TheJordBaker]

very captivating as always, a very poetic narrative and well written.

[ewest1220]

It did turn out weirdly poetic actually. I think that just may be my writing style though. But anyways lol I'm glad you liked it and thanks for reading. It's always an absolute pleasure to hear from you!

[TheJordBaker]

no worries, and it's definitely a writing style that works!!

[Priscilla Sayers]

Wow! That was very intense because of the ending! I loved it, and though it made me sad, for it sounds so familiar, I dare not ask who this tale involves. Another great write!

[ewest1220]

lol I don't dare ask either ;) I'm really thrilled that you enjoyed my work thank you so much for reading!