A Tale of Love

A Tale of Love

A Story by ewest1220
"

You were there the entire time....

"

A Tale of Love

By: Ethan West


I will now tell you a tale.  It's a tale of affection and love of the most beauteous kind.  You will be keen to disregard this tale as something false.


You will see, through unseen eyes, a man and a woman protecting their hearts.  You will see them set up barriers in mind and act that should have ripped them apart.  But from some beautiful miracle these barriers fall.


I will show you those first awkward moments turn to bliss as they wander within the other's eyes.  The poetic comfort as their laughs erase in their mind all else but each other.  In a sense you will become a part of that bliss.


I will show you their bliss turn into love.  A love that will persist the test of time.  Something pure, something beautiful.


And just like that my tale has ended.  But where did it begin?  Confused?  Don't be.


You were there the entire time...

© 2012 ewest1220


Author's Note

ewest1220
Was supposed to write a love story, not sure if this was quite what my teacher had in mind but people seem to like this one. Not my personal favorite I'll be honest. What do you guys think? Any input is greatly appreciated!

My Review

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Honestly, I think this sounds like a well-written preface or description of a story, not a love story unto itself. That's not a radical interpretation I guess, because that's pretty much what it is, right? There are elements of a story here, namely characters and a rudimentary narrative. But they are all so evanescent and abstract, and the story is so short, that I couldn't really get into it.

I did notice that as I was reading this short story, I pictured the scenes described unfolding in my mind. Therefore, the mysterious passage at the end I interpreted as meaning that you wrote this in such a way as to deliberately evoke this tale in the minds' of readers so that they saw themselves in the position of the characters--so in a sense, I felt like you left them deliberately blank so that we could see ourselves in their places. That's just my hypothesis and it may be way off the mark XD

Ultimately, I think of this as a prettily-worded and poetic introduction to a story that sounds generic, but moving too. However I'd say it ends too abruptly and without advancing very far, so it's elusive. But that's what you were going for I think.

Or I am just way over-analyzing this XD

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

11 Years Ago

Actually on your second point you are absolutely spot on. I love the analysis of my work you have g.. read more



Reviews

Great story telling. This did justice in the realm of getting the message across. Great message. There's lot of times where a story can have a great message to aim for, and have a lot of under lining things but then no one gets it, and if no one gets it, then the point has failed. But in my opinion this did well to get the message across. You made it clear, which is why I think it's good. Keep up the good work. What was also great was that I could imagine the story as I read it, and that is also a strong point of stories. The ability to have the reader imagine it because after all we're reading not watching it, but it was as if I was there as I read this, and that is great. Great visuals and great story telling. It had plot and substance. When you add substance to writing it gets that much better. It gets the reader hooked on it and make them feel as if they are part of it. As long as their is that emotional connection between the reader and the story then it's good. The connection you were able to established in the writing gives the reader a sense of comfortably that they are in tune with the writing. So that way when the writing is over, the reader wants more, and wishes it didn't end. I feel the same way when I watched a movie or tv series that I get so attached to, I never want it to end. And for this writing, I didn't want it to end. You had me hooked, and I am sure everyone else who read it was hooked as well. That is good, that is what you want for people to keep wanting more. The way you put the story together makes me feel like my life is different for that moment in which I read your story. I love it, and it was beautiful. Just keep posting stories like this, and you'll have a good following.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Honestly, I think this sounds like a well-written preface or description of a story, not a love story unto itself. That's not a radical interpretation I guess, because that's pretty much what it is, right? There are elements of a story here, namely characters and a rudimentary narrative. But they are all so evanescent and abstract, and the story is so short, that I couldn't really get into it.

I did notice that as I was reading this short story, I pictured the scenes described unfolding in my mind. Therefore, the mysterious passage at the end I interpreted as meaning that you wrote this in such a way as to deliberately evoke this tale in the minds' of readers so that they saw themselves in the position of the characters--so in a sense, I felt like you left them deliberately blank so that we could see ourselves in their places. That's just my hypothesis and it may be way off the mark XD

Ultimately, I think of this as a prettily-worded and poetic introduction to a story that sounds generic, but moving too. However I'd say it ends too abruptly and without advancing very far, so it's elusive. But that's what you were going for I think.

Or I am just way over-analyzing this XD

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

11 Years Ago

Actually on your second point you are absolutely spot on. I love the analysis of my work you have g.. read more
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Eve
I think it is wonderful is what I think. I think it is a lovely song and expressed very well.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

12 Years Ago

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed my work!
I just enjoy how the whole time I am in suspense waiting for this 'love story' to begin, when there it was, in my suspense. What a way to keep the reader captivated. Not only that craft did I enjoy, but also the line: "but from some beautiful miracle these barriers fall." what a magical thing it is, too.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

12 Years Ago

Thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed this one thank you so much for reading!
It's intriguing , great word choice and it flows you want to know what comes next. Lovely.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

12 Years Ago

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
i like it, it really pulls the reader in and gets them to really focus on the flow of words. Also i love how u say And just like that my tale has ended. But where did it begin? Confused? Don't be.




You were there the entire time... its awesome. :D


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

12 Years Ago

Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!
Mariah Corey

12 Years Ago

np. :D
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Pax
love that will persist the test of time...i like that...beautiful

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

12 Years Ago

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
"A love that will persist the test of time. Something pure, something beautiful."
A very interesting tale of love. Real life is fragile and we must walk gentle into it. I like the flow of statements leading to a very good ending. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

12 Years Ago

Thanks! Glad you liked it!
I LOVE THIS!!!!!!! So true and brilliant, I favorited right away, almost forgot to review because I ran to show it to my boyfriend, who loved it too!!!!!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

12 Years Ago

Wow thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!
Lovely, lovely, lovely ^_~

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

12 Years Ago

Thanks!

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787 Views
31 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 5 Libraries
Added on July 23, 2012
Last Updated on July 23, 2012
Tags: short stories, dark, love

Author

ewest1220
ewest1220

Columbia Falls, MT



About
I have been writing for as long as I can remember. I have been featured in about 4 books, have won several contests for my work and currently have a paperback edition of my works. (Titled "A Winter Wa.. more..

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