On My Deathbed

On My Deathbed

By: Ethan West

     "If it were to be that I was damned at birth I would beg you tell me the cause.  What caused me to be sentenced to death even before I had the power to breathe the sweet air of the world that had not yet exposed itself to my blind eyes?  

     Before I was even able to form thought I was doomed to die.  I am an elderly man, death is knocking at my doorstep and I am afraid.  Why was I brought into this world only to be ripped from it at the very instant I had grown accustomed to it's joys and sorrows.

     But my tired and desperate eyes hide truth even in their search for it.  For my life was a plague on myself.  I had seen nothing but pain and hurt.  Yet at the same time I am drawn to that miserable heaven, that delightful hell that was my life and I don't wish to relieve my grasp.

     I was a young man once, long ago it seems.  I saw, and became a child.  I learned, and became a boy.  I stood up, and became a teenager.  I loved, and became a man.

    Who was it who caught my love so, you might ask?  She was radiance all in herself, she was beauty and grace.  She held my heart with hands of silk and fashioned it into her own with the grace of an angel.  She was my everything, she was my only thing.

     I fell to her beauty but she did not fall to my charm for I was still but a teenager.  Somberly I look back on my foolish attempts to woo her into my arms.  My discontent went with any one person but her.  For even when I found another she stole away the light from their eyes that had led me to them into the first place.  All the while becoming more bright and beautiful while I stayed as I was, just a teenager.

     When she finally invited me into her heart it was as if I had stepped unwittingly into a void as deep and wonderful as the beauteous night sky looking down on the hatred of man with omniscient pity and simple grace.  But I was, just a teenager, unworthy to look upon such beauty.  So I shied away from what I had sought for so long, fear in my heart, and failure in my stride.

     It was then that I learned of a darker side to her beauty.  A deep secret that lured her to death in spite of the peace that seemed never-ending in her smile.  I saw it within tired eyes a plot to take her life.  I cursed at the hell I had thrown my love within and the turmoil it had caused my weak and pitiful soul.

     I could shy away no longer for my affection was great.  And her need was far greater.  We fell in love and the thoughts of suicide seemed to leave her smile.  Lost in the beauty of her eyes which shone brightly in mine.  All other thoughts were erased from the world in that moment and in many more moments to come.

     I proposed to her some five years later, and we were wed under the stars.  Within our kiss was hope, happiness, and a love that seemed to be never-ending.  She stared into my eyes as I stared equally into hers.  "I now pronounce you man and wife," I smiled, and so did she.  We turned to face our families who were applauding tearfully at the beautiful sight of love completed within the gentle vows of marriage.

     My heart lifted, I had found the one.  I felt something cold brush against my arm and I turned to face my bride.  Her eyes were full of tears, but they were not tears of joy.  I stared down to see a knife in her hand.  Her arm swung inward and I thrust my arm towards the blade.  Desperate to stop the act that her eyes had hidden so well.

     My heart had broken, in her eyes there were only two words written out for me to read.  "I'm sorry," my hand closed around the blade of the knife and..."

     I approached the man's bed quietly to remove the corpse.  No person had come to visit, but I could have sworn he had been talking aloud for the past several minutes.  Perhaps he was lonely, looking for anybody to tell his story to.

    I sighed as I pulled the sheet over his stiff face.  "Well old man," I said quietly.  "I guess your story was never meant to be told."

Author's Note

This was a sort of monologue turned short story. Hope you all like it!

Reviews

[Shelley Holt-Lowrey]

What a wonderful thing to read... LOVED the ending... Oh! The beginning and middle too... but that ending! WOW! Thank you. Favorite line:   She was my everything, she was my only thing. Says everything he felt in those nine words. Beautiful piece.

[ewest1220]

Wow thank you so much! I'm really thrilled you enjoyed this thank you so much again for reading!

[Shelley Holt-Lowrey]

I have read some of your things before. I really enjoy reading short stories. Poetry is just not my baliwick - half the time it's over my head. Your stories are a change for this place, and you write well - so cool x2! Glad you are here. Sorry it has taken me a while to get round to my RR's. :)

[ewest1220]

I understand the poetry thing it's not exactly the most popular form of writing out there. And thank you so much, don't mention it on the read requests I understand completely. I'm just glad you enjoyed my work :) thanks again for reading!

[Rox Bain ☮]

"We fell in love and the thoughts of suicide seemed to leave her smile. Lost in the beauty of her eyes which shone brightly in mine. All other thoughts were erased from the world in that moment and in many more moments to come."
I love this paragraph...

This is such a beautifully sad story... I love it.
I love how his love for her never changes... and how it all seems to turn out well in the end, until...... The twist. It is so effective the way you've done it because there was a tiny amount of foreshadowing in the earlier paragraphs.
This is amazing 100/100

[ewest1220]

Wow thank you so much for this review! I'm really thrilled that you enjoyed my work!

[Rox Bain ☮]

You're welcome ^_^

[Archia]

Oh that's gripping, so gripping. And his story ends, at just the moment, when he was going to say... I just have a question, when you wrote this, did you have an ending in mind. Like if you had continued the man's story, would the woman have died or not? or is it just something you didn't decide on? One thing that just threw my mind around a bit when was the second person came in, at the end. Really because it was first person, and even though the old man was speaking so it can be like that, it just didn't seem right for me and I had to have some double checks. Perosnally I think it would workd better in third person. Apart from that, brilliant story, it captivated me the whole time and I had to keep reading to find out if he would get her and then I did not expect that.

[ewest1220]

Interesting. I think that that's a change that I will make because I see exactly what your saying. As far as the man I have no idea if she lived or died. I got to that part and then, in a way, I became the man who announced that the story wasn't meant to be told. An interesting experience to tell you the truth... But anyways I'm really glad you enjoyed this thank you so much for reading!

[ewest1220]

Weird it didn't save my reply :/ but to answer your question I do not know what happened to the wife. The person who took over in the last little bit was, in a way, a fictionalization of myself. Saying that this story was not meant to be told. I thought it would make for an interesting angle. And I actually see what you mean on the change at the end I just might do that! Thank you so much for the very helpful and insightful review and thanks for reading!

[Archia]

Your first reply has turned up now. It was odd because it was coming up on newsfeed so I could read the first half but when I clicked on it, it wouldn't appear. And then I wanted to know what you were saying! I think that's quite interesting how you saw yourself as that other man, the one who didn't know the story and shared that it would never be known, yet you knew yourself would know it more than anyone. Anyway, it was a brilliant story, and now I'm trying to figure out if I want her to die or not. Well I wouldn't want her to die, but what I'd rather read really.

[ewest1220]

I understand what you mean that's a tough one. I don't have an answer as to if she should've died or not

[Crimson Bayonet]

Holy cow. You sir, are gifted with rich talent! :D

[ewest1220]

Wow! Thank you so much for your kind words I'm thrilled that you liked my work!

[Thomas Reilly Thornhill]

That was beautiful :O I loved it! The only problem I can point out is that you used the word corpse for him, I feel that may be too harsh considering the amount of emotion and sympathy I had grown to feel for the man. Other than that it was truly amazing

[ewest1220]

That's actually a good point. I'll play around with it and see what I can come up with.

[ewest1220]

I'm glad you enjoyed it though!

[Thomas Reilly Thornhill]

No problemo :) Happy to help. And in this case I'd love to see this story flawless :)

[ewest1220]

Me too :) thanks for the help!

[Thomas Reilly Thornhill]

Thats been popped straight into my favourites :)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! :)