On My Deathbed
By: Ethan West
"If it were to be that I was damned at birth I would beg you tell me the cause. What caused me to be sentenced to death even before I had the power to breathe the sweet air of the world that had not yet exposed itself to my blind eyes?
Before I was even able to form thought I was doomed to die. I am an elderly man, death is knocking at my doorstep and I am afraid. Why was I brought into this world only to be ripped from it at the very instant I had grown accustomed to it's joys and sorrows.
But my tired and desperate eyes hide truth even in their search for it. For my life was a plague on myself. I had seen nothing but pain and hurt. Yet at the same time I am drawn to that miserable heaven, that delightful hell that was my life and I don't wish to relieve my grasp.
I was a young man once, long ago it seems. I saw, and became a child. I learned, and became a boy. I stood up, and became a teenager. I loved, and became a man.
Who was it who caught my love so, you might ask? She was radiance all in herself, she was beauty and grace. She held my heart with hands of silk and fashioned it into her own with the grace of an angel. She was my everything, she was my only thing.
I fell to her beauty but she did not fall to my charm for I was still but a teenager. Somberly I look back on my foolish attempts to woo her into my arms. My discontent went with any one person but her. For even when I found another she stole away the light from their eyes that had led me to them into the first place. All the while becoming more bright and beautiful while I stayed as I was, just a teenager.
When she finally invited me into her heart it was as if I had stepped unwittingly into a void as deep and wonderful as the beauteous night sky looking down on the hatred of man with omniscient pity and simple grace. But I was, just a teenager, unworthy to look upon such beauty. So I shied away from what I had sought for so long, fear in my heart, and failure in my stride.
It was then that I learned of a darker side to her beauty. A deep secret that lured her to death in spite of the peace that seemed never-ending in her smile. I saw it within tired eyes a plot to take her life. I cursed at the hell I had thrown my love within and the turmoil it had caused my weak and pitiful soul.
I could shy away no longer for my affection was great. And her need was far greater. We fell in love and the thoughts of suicide seemed to leave her smile. Lost in the beauty of her eyes which shone brightly in mine. All other thoughts were erased from the world in that moment and in many more moments to come.
I proposed to her some five years later, and we were wed under the stars. Within our kiss was hope, happiness, and a love that seemed to be never-ending. She stared into my eyes as I stared equally into hers. "I now pronounce you man and wife," I smiled, and so did she. We turned to face our families who were applauding tearfully at the beautiful sight of love completed within the gentle vows of marriage.
My heart lifted, I had found the one. I felt something cold brush against my arm and I turned to face my bride. Her eyes were full of tears, but they were not tears of joy. I stared down to see a knife in her hand. Her arm swung inward and I thrust my arm towards the blade. Desperate to stop the act that her eyes had hidden so well.
My heart had broken, in her eyes there were only two words written out for me to read. "I'm sorry," my hand closed around the blade of the knife and..."
I approached the man's bed quietly to remove the corpse. No person had come to visit, but I could have sworn he had been talking aloud for the past several minutes. Perhaps he was lonely, looking for anybody to tell his story to.
I sighed as I pulled the sheet over his stiff face. "Well old man," I said quietly. "I guess your story was never meant to be told."
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